If you are ringing in the New Year all alone, chances are you’re ready to finally find love in 2011. Of course, January is the perfect time to wipe your slate clean of last year’s love mistakes to ensure that next year really is filled with lasting love.
If you are serious about fast forwarding to the relationship of your dreams, it’s time to commit to the following six resolutions.
1. Bust Old Patterns
If your luck in love is going to be different next year, the first thing you need to do is get honest with yourself about the patterns that are holding you back.
Think back through the last few years- which experiences have you had over and over? Do you pursue while he withdraws? Are you forever rescuing her?
Resolve to catch yourself making the same mistakes, then walk away, so you can create new, healthy habits pronto.
2. Date Outside Your Type
Chances are if “your type” hasn’t panned out for you by now, it’s time to discover a new type. Quirky artist not working out so well? Mr. Wall Street never emotionally available?
Resolve to date outside your normal comfort zone. Consider opening up your expectations in regard to age, height, income, race, job, etc.
Soulmates come in unexpected packages- broaden your horizon and you’re more apt to stumble upon an unexpected perfect match.
3. Ditch the Duds Fast
The best way to fast forward to The One? Stop wasting your time with people who are clearly only Mr./Ms. Right Now.
As long as you give away your valuable time, attention, and emotion to the wrong partner, you’ll never find the right relationship. Limit yourself to three months of dating, if the bond doesn’t obviously have more potential by then, move on.
4. Blast through Dating Ruts
Yup- doing what you’ve always done, will get you what you’ve always gotten. If you haven’t found the right partner during your usual routine, it’s time to get creative in your daily & dating activities.
Join new groups, take novel classes, or frequent different coffee shops, bookstores, hiking trails, & grocery stores. Your ideal mate is out there- if you are always somewhere new, doing something different, you maximize the chances of serendipity working it’s magic.
5. Share Your Best Self
Maybe it’s not just what you are doing that needs a makeover, but who you are and how you show up! Get real with yourself by asking: What about you isn’t as attractive as it could be?
Ask your closest friend for honest feedback. Do you tend to be overly anxious or pessimistic? Are quick to pass judgment or so shy you fade into the background? Maybe it’s time to hit the gym, get some cute clothes, or try a new hairstyle?
When you step into your best self, you’ll more naturally attract a better partner – the one you truly deserve.
By making these 5 commitments, you’ll be well on your way to making 2011 the year you finding find true love.
Until Next Time,
Jennifer Oikle, Ph.D.
Dr. Jenn is a clinical psychologist, dating coach, and authentic attraction expert. Her passion is helping singles attract real love that lasts. After meeting her husband on the internet she also helps singles find the perfect partner online. How long will it be till you find The One? Take Dr. Jenn’s quizzes at: www.mysoulmatesolution.com and www.meetyourmateonline.com.
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