Speed Dating

Apr 25, 2010 1 Comment »

As a dating coach, I get asked a lot what I think of speed dating. I think speed dating is great . . . as a way to work on your communication skills.

So many people have trouble meeting people. When those people come to a speed dating event, they bring those social skills with them. They get nervous. They feel like they have five minutes to impress somebody.

You should never go to a speed dating event trying to impress anybody. What you really should be doing is thinking about how you can communicate with somebody.

Speed dating gives you an opportunity to have twenty mini-dates all in one meeting. Whether you’re attracted to someone or not is not the point. The benefit to speed dating, is that is gives you a way to relax and really put your best foot forward.

So how do you do speed dating and be successful at it? The first thing I tell people is to just converse with the people you meet. Get to know them. Ask them questions — not about where they live, but about what they are passionate. Ask them questions that give them an opportunity to express themselves better.

Another tip for being a successful speed dater, is to go to the events with no expectations. Just go, meet people and put your best foot forward. Listen to what people have to say, and react to what you hear. Don’t have an agenda. Don’t think that you have to find out certain information from each person.

Even if you are not attracted to any of the people you meet, speed dating is still a great way to work on your communication skills. It’s a great way to learn how to converse with the opposite sex, and to build up your own confidence.

If nobody chooses you, don’t feel rejected. It just means that there was no chemistry between you and the people who were there. It doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you.

Finally, the best advice about speed dating is to be yourself. People tend to go to a speed dating event and try really hard to impress people.

David
www.davidwygant.com
david@davidwygant.com

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