How To Repel Men (A Brief Manual)

May 06, 2010 No Comments »

It is not always easy; it takes time and effort to successfully ward off these annoying people who we call men. However, there are several simple, safe, and effective strategies to break free from relationships, love and passion. Be persistent – and there it is, your well deserved loneliness.

1) Be an elementary teacher. Your motto is “I know what you should do”. Do not hesitate to express your strong disapproval of any endeavor he embarks on. Point out his mistakes, and concentrate on his weaknesses and drawbacks. Demand obedience and discipline; restrict his desires, and refrain from encouragement. Praising is dangerous – what if he starts having a high opinion of his abilities and talents?

2) Be a poor victim. Your motto is “Everybody, and mainly you, is the source of all my problems”. Never admit your mistakes; do not arm him with the recognition of your imperfectness. Whine and complain on a regular basis.

3) Be a professional spy. Your motto is “I suspect that you are hiding something, and I will prove it”. Consistently check his cell phone for suspicious text messages, get access to his email accounts. Be aware of who he looks at and who he talks to. Make sure to call him more than ten times during the day. Do not believe that he is in the meeting – it is just a stupid and cliché justification of having lunch with his hot female coworker.

4) Be a fearless prosecutor. Your motto is “You will be punished for what I think you did”. Never listen to his defenses. Never give him a chance to explain or justify his actions. Be firm and passionate in blaming him for everything. Dismiss evidence and disregard witnesses – you know better, and your goal is to execute justice.

5) Be a merciless hangman. Do not forgive or forget; he has to be punished for that dirty look he gave to the waitress on your third date. Remind him of what he did or you think he did, consistently and on a regular basis. Bring out the events from ten years ago when he wants to tell you how much he cares about you; remind him of forgetting your grandparents’ anniversary during the romantic candlelit dinner he surprised you with.

6) Be a skillful conspirator. Never, under any circumstances, tell him that you like, love, adore, or admire him. What if he believes you? Do not show your weakness, and do not humiliate yourself by admitting to your feelings for him.

7) Be a seductive flirt. Send promising signals to every man in his presence, be very friendly (and I mean, really “friendly”) with all his acquaintances. Laugh loudly, play with your hair, and do not forget to tenderly pat his boss’s shoulder at their office party. Make sure that he is aware of the fact that there are crowds of successful and handsome men (a smirk and a lenient glance at him will be helpful here) everywhere, showering you with attention.

8) If all mentioned above has not worked, and he is still around – remember that you have a chronic headache (stomach ache, backache – various options possible), and cannot have sex with him as often as he wants to. And then, and only then, you can be proud of yourself – you did not give in to this uncompromising, insensitive and tiring human being who we call “a man”.

Talk Soon

Alla Arshakyan
Psychotherapist
Individual & Couple Counseling
www.reachforpsychotherapy.com

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3. How To Get Inside Someone’s Head (and Bed)
4. Pets to Wonders for the Single Life
5. Signs You Need to Take a Break From Dating