Why Women Fake Orgasms

Oct 06, 2010 1 Comment »

The largest sex study in fifteen years suggests that there is a considerable orgasm gap between the sexes. According to the team at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, 85 percent of men believe that their last female sexual partner had an orgasm, while only 64 percent of women report having an orgasm the last time they had sex with a man. The researchers suggest that this difference exists because women are faking it and men are buying it.

But why are women faking orgasms? My clients have offered a range of explanations. Some want to stroke their man’s ego while others wants to get it over and done with. Others report that they do not really know what an orgasm looks, feels and sounds like so they mimic what they’ve seen in porn. Many women have told me they put on a show because it turns their partners on and a few have even suggested that they pretend to orgasm to prove their love. Some do it once in a blue moon and others do so consistently for years on end and their partners eat it up each and every time.

However well-intentioned, one problem with faking the big-O is that the positive reinforcement is an inaccurate lesson in partner education and communication. In short, it disrupts the honest learning curve. If your partner believes something works for you, chances are s/he’ll do it again and expect a similar reaction. This obviously creates a lose-lose situation. And long-term deception can result in resentment, communication issues, anger and a whole lot of sexual frustration.

Instead, open communication that rejects blaming is a good way to start on the road to genuinely orgasmic sex. Talk about what you like and get back to basics. Review a lesson in female anatomy and understand that most women do not orgasm from vaginal sex alone and this is normal, healthy and simply the way it is. Period. This latest research piece suggest that although two-thirds of women do not climax through penile-vaginal penetration alone, nearly 90 percent of women orgasm when their partners play with a combination of sex acts including oral, anal, masturbation, mutual masturbation and vaginal sex. Women should not feel pressure to have an orgasm during intercourse and men should not feel pressure to “give” women orgasms. There are lots of other fun things to do in and out of the bedroom that allow for increased stimulation, pleasure and orgasms.

Ladies and Gents: get out there and play with your hands, tongue, lips, breath, breasts, hair, dildos, vibrators, butt plugs and feathers until you find what works for you and your partner. Orgasm or no orgasm, sex should always feel great for all parties involved.

Until next time, have fun, experiment and always practice safer sex.

Dr. Jessica O’Reilly

Dr. Jessica O’Reilly is a board-certified sexologist committed to helping clients enjoy healthy, pleasurable sex lives. She loves her work (obviously!) and splits her time between public speaking engagements, freelance writing, program development and consulting in the field of sexual health. Learn more about Jessica at www.jessicaoreilly.com

More Reasons Single Men Fear Commitment

Oct 05, 2010 1 Comment »

Yes, it’s true, a lot of men have a fear of commitment. Keep in mind though, it’s not always fear that’s at play, whereas uncertainty or even skepticism may be better words to describe the issue. There are a lot of people that offer solutions to this problem, but before exploring those seemingly hopeless theories, let’s explore some theories as to why men feel this way in the first place.

They think forever sounds too long

Dating someone for a long time is one thing, and one may not even start to miss the single life. Once a girlfriend starts talking about marriage, this can instantly change. It’s not even that the man has ever thought about leaving or considered that there would be anyone else for him. It could simply be that putting forever right out there in words can be a scary thought.

There are other things that take precedent in life

Then there are those men who simply have other things that they are more concerned about. We all know that there are husbands out there who never seem to have time for their families because they work too much or bum around with their friends. Some men simply know that they fit that bill, and therefore don’t want a ring on their finger that would make them into a bad guy.

It’s assumed freedom is something that comes with being a single man

When a man is in a relationship, it’s easy to feel as though his freedoms are being clamped down upon. They look back at their single days and think of all that they did and could be doing again. Committing to a relationship means giving into a loss of this freedom, whether or not it ever really existed.

The actual fear is being turned on and let down

Now here’s something else to consider. Many men are more sensitive than you’d think, and they don’t fear commitment so much as the heartbreak that could follow. Men often report that they would be willing to enter into a committed relationship if they could only get over the fear that the person they love will one day leave them.

These aren’t universal reasons, of course. Every man is different, and one would think that most of them don’t even fear commitment in the first place. What about you? Share your opinion and reaction to the above reasons by adding a comment below.

Until Next Time,

Phil
Meet Market Adventures Dating Expert
phil@meetmarketadventures.com

Why Men are Deaf When Reading Newspapers

Oct 05, 2010 No Comments »

Do you ever wonder; when getting your partner’s attention; while he is reading or watching tv is so darn hard? Here you are sitting beside him, or in close proximity of him and you are talking away and you happen to pop a question in there and he sits there continuing to do the same thing he has been doing and does not answer! Do you feel frustrated at having him not pay attention to you at that point?

Consider this… Men and women’s brains are wired completely differently. Literally!! Did you know that women have more connections to the left and right sides of their brains than men? Basically put, there is a bundle of nerve fibers called the corpus callosum that connects the two sides together. It is kind of like a cable wire between two computers. In the brain of a woman there is a thicker cable with up to 30% more connections than in the man’s giving the woman an advantage to being able to do more things at once. Not only that but a study done by Neurologist Roger Gorski of the University of California has also given evidence to the fact that men and women use different parts of the brain when doing the same thing. Thus it is concluded that men generally can only focus on one thing at a time, where women can do many things at once.

I find it much less frustrating just knowing this information when I am with a member of the opposite sex and trying to get him to answer a question; while he is doing something else. It saves a lot of arguments and negativity in my world.

Until Next Time,

Lynnette Vetsch
Director
Amaxa Coaching and Training Services
www.amaxa.org
Changing attitudes and lives for the better!

Men Ogle While Women Have Eyes in the Back of Their Heads

Oct 05, 2010 No Comments »

Does it bug you that your man will turn his head faster than a rabbit being chased by a dog; almost causing himself whiplash when it comes to something that grabs his fancy? However, you would never get caught while looking at some yummy piece of eye candy (and yes we all do it, not matter who we are, after all, only human). How is that possible? Is it because we are more sensitive to our partner’s feelings or is it because we are more refined in our behaviour as ladies?

Well it turns out that women have eyes in the back of their heads…well almost. We, as women, have been blessed with not only having a greater variety of cones in our retinas than men; we also have a wider peripheral vision than they do. Our brain software allows us to receive an arc of at least 45 degrees of clear vision to each side of us and above and below our noses. In many of us it can be as effective as up to 180 degrees!

A man’s eyes are larger than a woman’s and his brain configures his eyes for longer distances; basically a tunnel vision. Thus it is as though he has a pair of binoculars built in and, like binoculars, he can basically only see what is in front of his eyes.

Our bodies have yet to catch up from our lives in the stone age. Men had to be out hunting for food and thus be able to spot and pursue targets from a great distance. Women as the “nest defenders” needed the greater peripheral vision for protecting the home from sneaky predators.

So ladies, please understand this information before you try to send your man into the refrigerator or cupboards to find something that may not be directly in front of his face, and men, fair warning – we will see those wandering eyes.

Until Next Time,

Lynnette Vetsch
Director
Amaxa Coaching and Training Services
www.amaxa.org
Changing attitudes and lives for the better!

Great Health Tips for Autumn Bound Singles

Sep 28, 2010 No Comments »

Now that Summer’s over, singles everywhere are starting to let their exercise and health fizzle. Things aren’t like the summertime when we were motivated and encouraged by the atmosphere around us. No, in the autumn and coming winter we need to pay more attention to our day to day activities and make an effort to stay healthy, even more than before.

Sunscreen – Sunscreen is something associated with summer, but this is dangerous. The sun is the same sun all year round. UV indexes are still worth following and when you go out for a jog or to pay outdoor sports, you should still cover up with sunscreen, so long as you’re not wearing sleeves, and long pants.

Plan a good diet – The summer brought us vegetables and fruits galore. The fall tends to lead us towards the end of this. Not good. Even though the autumn doesn’t conjure the same images of fresh from the garden vegetables that summer does, you still need to keep them in your diet. Because the attitude changes though, you need to make that extra effort to eat these things.

Watch that flu – Is the flu shot a good idea? It depends who you ask, and I don’t want to pretend to be a doctor here. The thing is though, germs run more rampant this time of year, and the flu taunts us all. While having and getting over a cold is no big deal for most of us, it does tend to bring us down and ruin any fitness regiments we’ve put together.

Who out there treats the fall differently than the summer when it comes to personal health? I’m sure many find that it’s just like that, the summer ends and you feel less motivated and less likely to do the healthy thing. Share your thoughts on this or any other topic simply by adding a comment to our comments section.

Until Next Time,

Phil
Meet Market Adventures Dating Expert
phil@meetmarketadventures.com