Online dating photos are crucial to the online dating experience. Like it or not, you’re going to be judged by your appearance, at least for a little while. This is what gets people’s attention. This doesn’t mean you have to be a super model, or super male model—whatever that is. It just means you have to be wary of it, and make sure your online dating photos look as good as they can. That means avoiding some of these big mistakes.
Closed body language can ruin the shot
Body language is very important. In a photograph it can be almost everything. Closed body language can be anything from the hiding of your hands to leaning away as if you’re about to run. This speaks badly to the subconscious. Instead it should be inviting and open, something that makes the viewer feel comfortable and as though they don’t have to chase or be worried.
Nothing but headshots
Headshots are great for actors, but when it comes to your online dating photo they are awful. You need to show more than just the face in the photo or people will assume the worst. Showing nothing but your face suggests you are trying to hide something, and/or aren’t happy with the way you look below the neck.
Too many pictures is never any good
When you have too many photos, they detract from each other. Your online dating photographs should be carefully selected, and having more than four or five can work against you. It will either make you look cocky, or it will make you look bad—all it takes is one bad photo to make you seem unattractive, even if the rest are hot.
Do you commit any of these online dating photo follies? Well, start correcting that now! Tell us what your current photos are like, and if there’s anything about them this is going to make you change. Just add a comment below.
Until Next Time,
Phil
Meet Market Adventures Dating Expert
phil@meetmarketadventures.com
Online dating emails are tricky business. It’s hard enough having to talk to someone in a club, but online you have to hold their attention in writing while a dozen other emails are trying to compete with you. So, when you next try to tackle one of these online dating emails, try considering the following strategies to make them better.
First, start with a killer subject line. This is what makes them open the email in the first place. The best idea is to say something short and sweet that relates to their profile. Tell them how you loved the same movie they loved, or you went on a vacation to that same place… or that you want to! Anything like this comes across as non threatening, and intriguing in that it shows you are paying attention.
The body of the email, however, should be more focused on them than you. While you don’t want to fill it with flattery, telling them how you think everything they like is great and that everything they do sounds exciting, but you want to talk about them in a way that says you are interested. In other words, wit that vacation scenario, don’t tell them how great it must have been to go to Greece, but ask about some things they did.
Now, while you’ll want to gush about yourself in here and open up your heart, it’s not the time or the place. You want your online dating emails to make people interested and curious, not fall in love. So don’t go on about your hopes and dreams, but just hint at a few things that they may find interesting, and try to get them to take the lead in asking about them.
Do you find that your emails don’t get a lot of attention when writing to people on online dating web sites? What do you think you’re doing wrong? Explain a bit about what you write in your emails by adding a comment below, and we’ll see what everything thinks.
Until Next Time,
Phil
Meet Market Adventures Dating Expert
phil@meetmarketadventures.com
Online rejection is quite common. Sometimes it’s rejecting someone you’ve been approached by via an online dating site, and sometimes it’s dumping someone online even after you’ve had a real world relationship with them. The rejection email, however, is a tricky thing that shouldn’t be taken too lightly. You want to accomplish something, but not hurt anyone in the process.
First, write the email
If someone writes you on an online dating site, and you’ve never replied, rejection may not be called for. It sucks to not hear back, but opening up that can of worms may just not be necessary. However, once a dialogue is established, to any extreme, it’s important to sent an online dating site email, or other communication, if you want to call it quits.
Don’t be negative
Whether it’s negative towards them or towards yourself, it’s not necessary and doesn’t make the rejection any easier. No one needs a whole story as to why, just keep it short and simple. Saying things about what you don’t like, or don’t feel or don’t want won’t help anyone. It will only draw fire and possibly hurt one or both of you.
Let’s not be friends
It’s easy to write in the lets be friends line in an email, but don’t. If the person you are rejecting in your online dating email actually liked you, the lets be friends thing will be a kick in the gut. If they’ve heard it a lot before, it will be a painful kick. If you genuinely want friendship, and they do too, it will happen naturally whether you say it or not. So, go with not.
Don’t be a cliché
That friend thing is just one example of a cliché. As soon as the email sounds like something you’ve heard before, work on a rewrite. This shouldn’t be hard, no one’s marking it. Just say your piece, but avoid anything that sounds cliché. Those are the things that tend to sting the most, even when they are meant sincerely.
How many online dating site rejections have you written in your life? How many have you received? Share your thoughts about this emails and how they made you feel, both when sending and when receiving. Keep the conversation going by adding a comment below.
Until Next Time,
Phil
Meet Market Adventures Dating Expert
phil@meetmarketadventures.com
Everyone wants to have a great photograph for online dating, and so we dig through our albums and try to find the perfect shot. Can’t find one? Create one! With a little effort and a few tips, you’ll find that you can look as hot as anyone in your online dating profile photographs. Take a look below and see what you think.
Look at your favorite celebrity shots
You know that pose the celebrity is making in the picture that everyone thinks is so hot? Do that! Few celebrities are natural pinups. It’s all about a wise photographer putting them in the best of poses. Well, you have the magazine in front of you, so use their ideas to your own benefit. Your friend can hold the camera and guide you along. With digital it’s easy because you have all the tries you need.
Hold the camera out and take it yourself
This is cliché and often annoying, but you know what? For female photos this is one of the best ways to go about it. While a few people will be turned off by the online dating photos taken like this, most people won’t think twice. They’ll just see a hot photo and chase you down. Will it be hot? Sure. Looking down on your face is one of the most flattering ways to take a picture, and that’s usually how the self portraits work.
Be natural and look open
The drop dead gorgeous, sexy outfit may work for some, but even for the more attractive people out there, it isn’t always the best choice. Looking casual, while in your natural environment, can be the sexiest online photo you can take. And by keeping your body language open and accepting, you get rid of any intimidation factors.
How many online dating photos do you have? How many of them do you like? Let us know about your online dating photographs. Tell us how old they are, where they were taken and how. Just add a comment below and keep the conversation going.
Until Next Time,
Phil
Meet Market Adventures Dating Expert
phil@meetmarketadventures.com
How many women have you met through online dating sites? I couldn’t possibly count the number of girls I’ve gone out with after picking them up on popular free dating services, and even the paid ones now and then. During my last few years of online dating, I became quite good at the process and it felt more like shopping than flirting. Who do I want to meet this weekend? Ah, she seems great.
Of all the women you’ve been out with from free online dating sites, how many ended up being what you’d expect? From all the talk I hear about people never being what they seem, I’ve got to tell you, for the most part everyone has been exactly what I expected. Maybe I got lucky, or may I’ve just got a knack for translating online speak into real world speak.
The biggest shocks I got from my online dates had to do with physicality, but while most guys will be taken aback many times by the women’s appearance in person, once you’ve done it a few times you learn to guess what the real woman will be like. Generally, headshots without full body shots mean they aren’t exactly fit. Beyond that, general bone structure becomes a tip off to everything else about them.
Not that “fit” matters. I never went out of my way to date women from online dating sites who were exclusively model-like. Frankly, most shapes and sizes can be attractive with some girls. Once, however, I was completely thrown by the woman I met. Her online photo was gorgeous, the extra shots she provided were pretty sweet too.
To this day I don’t know if she faked the photos, had them taken at a really good time, a long time ago, or whenever else, but when I met her I wanted to run. Calling her unattractive would have been an injustice to unattractive people. Now look, I don’t want to belittle women in anyway, but there is a point in which we have to admit a person, male or female, just doesn’t have the attractive thing working for them; though, I’m holding on to hope that anyone can achieve this if they work it right.
Still, this woman didn’t. When I saw her and made the connection I seriously considered bolting, but she saw me too. Fortunately there was the chance she’d at least be pleasant company, and maybe she’d grow on me. She wasn’t. She didn’t. She spent the whole date drinking and whining about her messed up life. It’s as though she knew I wasn’t into her so she figured to just make the most out of the day’s punching bag.
Think back to your online dates again, and try to remember the ones that simply didn’t work out. Remember the ones that completely took you by surprise, in the bad way. Add a comment below and tell us about them. What was it that made it so awful? What was different in person than online?
Until Next Time,
Phil
Meet Market Adventures Dating Expert
phil@meetmarketadventures.com
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