Posts Tagged ‘Website’

When Romantic Stories Bring You Down

Wednesday, September 30th, 2009

Do you ever get annoyed with those romantic tales of “How we met?” being broadcast all over the place? They come up during dinner table conversations, they show up in the movie and they turn up as human interest stories in the paper and on the TV. Those stories can get pretty random and even farfetched. From one couple meeting on a plane to another couple meeting when one actually arrested the other—there isn’t a lot that hasn’t happened at one time or another.

Another posting on this blog is all about one of the most random of such stories. It’s where a couple meets when one accidentally dialed the other’s phone number. They end up chatting and then they end up meeting and then they end up getting married. These things should strike us all as romantically wonderful, but sometimes it just doesn’t feel that way. At least, not for me.

For me there are dry spells. There are times when I’m always meeting singles and making connections, but the majority of my single life is spent in the dry areas. Those are the times when nothing seems to click. Sure, there’s a singles’ baking class here, a singles’ party there, and perhaps a little time invested in a dating site or two, yet no sparks fly and no connections are made. It’s during those times, when nothing seems to be working out, that I just want to give up.

Those are the times, the times when nothing in my dating world works out, that I actually despise hearing about other people’s luck. Hearing about other people who met at a bar or through friends and then dated, well that’s one thing. That’s normal. But to be going through a time in which all my great efforts result in still being alone, and then to hear about people who just magically fell into each others arms… that’s teeth grindingly frustrating.

It’s hard to keep up the motivation to get out there and meet people, to follow through with dates that friends set up, or to put my heart on the line when reading about the people who seem to fall into it so easily. Not that it isn’t great for them. Not that they may not deserve it. Not that they hadn’t likely had a hard time out on the dating scene at one point either. It’s just that by knowing other people fell into it so easily, failed efforts of my own become all the harder to take.

That’s not the only factor that kills the motivation for me of course, but it’s one that’s seemed to come up a lot lately. Do your eyes also roll when you hear those stories? Or is there something else that’s knocks you down a peg? Share your thoughts just by adding a comment below. Also, feel free to go back and comment on any other posting as well.

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When Meeting Someone New Goes Bad

Monday, August 31st, 2009

The internet has a reputation for being a dangerous place to meet people. Meeting singles online is one of those things that will probably always have a bit of a risk attached to it. For instance, sometimes Sexy4U, a 29 year old single female with long dark hair, is really a middle aged man with a few remaining patches of gray, and sometimes the middle aged man who’s finally looking to settle down is really a couple of preteens goofing off in the computer lab.

Aside from finding out you’ve been talking to the figment of someone else’s imagination, there are some pretty lousy things that can result from a bad online hookup. Stories abound about crimes that started off with a flirtatious email on a dating site. Just the other day the news reported on a man suspected of tricking his online dates into investing a few thousand dollars into something that proved to be little more than his bank account.

Now, as much fun as it is to blame the internet for all of the world’s most tragic dates, the bad guys are hardly limited to the web. A few months ago a woman met a great guy at a Casino in Detroit and a short while later went on a date with him. They had a nice dinner and probably shared a few laughs. The gentleman probably offered to pay for the meal just before realizing he’d left his wallet in the woman’s car. He asked for the car keys so he could get it and the woman obliged. Not only did he then steal her car, but he left her with the bill.

So these lousy situations crop up here and there no matter where the date originated, yet some people still only to the net when thinking of the scary places to meet. That’s why the last time someone on a dating site messaged me with “I’m nervous about meeting people online,” I coyly replied “All the more reason to meet in person.” In the end her fears were eased, but that’s just because I’m such a great catch.

Fortunately most of my dates have come and gone without any instances of stolen cars. The worst thing I can think of that happened after meeting someone, online or otherwise, was after a date that didn’t go so well. Well, I didn’t think it went so well and really hoped I’d be able to politely bow out and then never hear from her again. But like I said, I’m such a great catch.

Shortly after the date though, she phoned me. And then texted. And then phoned. And then texted. And texted. And texted. And phoned. I can’t really complain too much about a little cellular stalking. It never got to the point where anyone was following me when I shopped or sneaking into my home at night—that I know of. It was also quite short lived. I think. I still get the occasional text from a number I don’t recognize and can’t help but wonder if it’s still her.

Surely that little happening won’t top anyone’s list of worst things that resulted from a first date. How about you write in with one of your stories of a first date gone bad. Just add a comment below and share your thoughts.

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Blogging Down the Road to Meeting Singles

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

A lot of topics have already been covered in this MMA singles’ blog, with lots of articles dealing with everything from making a good first impression on a date to cooking a good meal when you’re living alone. There’s been a lot of great feedback and some good comments made along the way, but for the next while we’re going to try to remain a bit more focused and have entries dealing with more specific topics that can be explored over a longer period of time. What topic should be explored first? Well, naturally that’ll have to be meeting singles.

That is why we’re all here, isn’t it? Either we’re having trouble meeting singles during our regular routine or we just aren’t meeting the ones we want to meet. So we come to the World Wide Web in masses, attend singles events, go to parties and wink at our best friends new office assistant and hope to meet the man or woman of our dreams—or at least someone to hang out with for a while.

No matter how we go about doing it though, meeting other singles just doesn’t seem to be an easy thing to do. First you have to find someone who lives up to what you want in a significant other, and then you have to figure out if you live up to what they want. Oh, and at some point you also have to approach the person, say something nice and even ask them on a date. And then plan the date. And then survive the date. And so on.

While living it can sometimes be stressful, reading about it can sure be fun. With the help of some anecdotes and a little friendly gossip, we’ll take a look at all kinds of things from the ways of meeting singles online to the strangest things people say when meeting someone new.

All the while, make sure to keep the comments rolling in. Not only do they make this blog a lot more fun, but they help with exploring each idea and can inspire more entries down the road. Sharing your thoughts is as simple as clicking on the comments link below, or by responding via one of our alternative RSS feeds.

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Free Dating Sites: The Pros and the Cons

Thursday, August 6th, 2009

Free dating sites are like a beacon for single men and women everywhere. Cities like New York and Toronto can boast millions of singles checking those free dating sites out. Are they all they’re cracked up to be though? Let’s take a look.

The Good Things:

Free sites are free – Sorry was that part obvious? Well, still, it’s basically the number one benefit. The paid dating sites can actually end up costing quite a bit, depending on how they’re setup. Some charge per month and some charge per message. Some don’t need you to signup to receive and reply to messages while others make you shell out cash just to see who thinks you’re cute. Free sites are just that. Free.

There are more members – This isn’t always the case but it does seem to hold true with a lot of the free sites. Because signing up is as simple as, well, signing up, people just come in droves. They see no harm in trying it out for a little bit, and that means you get a chance to try to impress them.

There are fewer restrictions – And usually no restrictions. Paid sites can restrict the number of messages you send and sometimes even who you send them to. Free sites just want you to be as active as possible because they make their money by keeping you hanging around their site.

The Bad Things:

Spam – Dating sites that don’t charge membership fees attract a lot more spam. Spammers create accounts and send off emails, often containing phishing scams, to everyone they can find. This isn’t such a big deal, so long as you don’t fall for it. Still, it’s a bit upsetting to get an email only to find out it’s not from a real person.

Fake profiles – Speaking of real people, not all of the profiles are attached to them. Some profiles on these sites are simply those of the spammers. They are there to lure you to give away information about yourself or even lure you to another website altogether. Have you seen this before: “Come see some hot pictures of me on…” some other site?

Too many fish in that sea – There are real profiles too. Sometimes there are far too many. While a lot of members on a dating site is usually a good thing, it can often leave you buried in a sea of other profiles only to never be found. When you go searching profiles yourself, you’ll find the people you message are likely receiving mail from a lot of other people trying to get their attention.

Charge for extras – There are dating sites that pose as freebies but put up restrictions on just how far free can get you. For one thing, virtually every dating site says it’s free to signup. Achem, like that matters. The ones that are free in other ways have found methods for charging for extras like emailing virtual gifts or getting your emails highlighted.

All of those negatives taken into account, the first point still holds true. It’s free. Go on if you want, enjoy the freeness and flirt a little. Just don’t get your hopes too high because no money doesn’t always buy much. If you have thoughts to share about this, or experiences that differ, let us know by adding a comment below.

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Online Dating: Things You Should Not Do

Friday, July 17th, 2009

Online dating etiquette is a huge deal. It’s huge because so many people break the rules at such a great frequency. The problem is that it’s so easy to live manners-free in the anonymous world of the internet, but it certainly doesn’t help that the rules aren’t really written down.

Single men and women everywhere, take note. The following is a list of internet dating don’ts. These are things you should keep in mind when perusing and interacting on pretty much any dating web site out there.

Don’t type in capitals – Why? BECAUSE! For some reason, either learned or innate, we’ve come to interpret capitalized words as yelling. Who wants to be yelled at? If you type any part of your correspondence in all capital letters there’s a very good chance that the person you’re writing to WON’T LIKE YOU. It just feels insulting.

Don’t harass another user – This happens a lot and there’s really no good reason for it. One of the most common examples of it is when people write emails chastising someone for not replying to their previous email. Should you ever have the urge to do that, step back and ask yourself: Who does this benefit? You surely won’t win a friend out of it.

Don’t be insulting – On the internet, walking away is incredibly easy. If someone upsets you, all you have to do is close the window. Don’t get yourself in a battle of nasty words because, again, no one gets anything out of this. What’s more, there’s a very good chance that whatever upset you came out of pure miscommunication. That happens a lot online because too many people express themselves not good, unfortunately.

Don’t lie – Most people expand their singles scene to include the internet so as to attract someone for a serious relationship, or at least a casual one that may steer towards serious down the road. Even if you’re not one of those people it’s important to respect the fact that the person you’re talking with just might be. In either circumstance, the most innocent of lies can come back to haunt you or hurt them. Online dating isn’t meant to be an alternate reality, so don’t turn it into one.

Don’t push to get what’s been denied – If someone doesn’t want to send you a picture, then don’t keep pushing for one. If someone doesn’t want to give out a phone number, a last name or even an email address, then just let it go. It may be that you can’t deal with a person who won’t give out those things, but all you can do then is politely withdraw. Nagging, pleading or bossing someone around is just bad form.

This is just a taste of some of the online internet etiquette don’ts, and there will be more posted in the future. If there are any missing that you want to discuss right away, or if you have something else to say on the issue, feel free to do so on our comments forum.

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