Posts Tagged ‘Social network’

When Romantic Stories Bring You Down

Wednesday, September 30th, 2009

Do you ever get annoyed with those romantic tales of “How we met?” being broadcast all over the place? They come up during dinner table conversations, they show up in the movie and they turn up as human interest stories in the paper and on the TV. Those stories can get pretty random and even farfetched. From one couple meeting on a plane to another couple meeting when one actually arrested the other—there isn’t a lot that hasn’t happened at one time or another.

Another posting on this blog is all about one of the most random of such stories. It’s where a couple meets when one accidentally dialed the other’s phone number. They end up chatting and then they end up meeting and then they end up getting married. These things should strike us all as romantically wonderful, but sometimes it just doesn’t feel that way. At least, not for me.

For me there are dry spells. There are times when I’m always meeting singles and making connections, but the majority of my single life is spent in the dry areas. Those are the times when nothing seems to click. Sure, there’s a singles’ baking class here, a singles’ party there, and perhaps a little time invested in a dating site or two, yet no sparks fly and no connections are made. It’s during those times, when nothing seems to be working out, that I just want to give up.

Those are the times, the times when nothing in my dating world works out, that I actually despise hearing about other people’s luck. Hearing about other people who met at a bar or through friends and then dated, well that’s one thing. That’s normal. But to be going through a time in which all my great efforts result in still being alone, and then to hear about people who just magically fell into each others arms… that’s teeth grindingly frustrating.

It’s hard to keep up the motivation to get out there and meet people, to follow through with dates that friends set up, or to put my heart on the line when reading about the people who seem to fall into it so easily. Not that it isn’t great for them. Not that they may not deserve it. Not that they hadn’t likely had a hard time out on the dating scene at one point either. It’s just that by knowing other people fell into it so easily, failed efforts of my own become all the harder to take.

That’s not the only factor that kills the motivation for me of course, but it’s one that’s seemed to come up a lot lately. Do your eyes also roll when you hear those stories? Or is there something else that’s knocks you down a peg? Share your thoughts just by adding a comment below. Also, feel free to go back and comment on any other posting as well.

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Privacy Tips for Online Dating

Saturday, July 18th, 2009

A lot has been said about online dating and how to play things safe, but one of the things with the most overall importance online is privacy. In an age where so many single women and men are taking to the internet, privacy is a huge deal.

Whether you’re from a small town or living the single life in a big city like Toronto or New York, the issue is all the same. Why? Because the internet knows no borders. So if you have an online dating profile on one or more sites, or if you’re planning on setting one up in the near future, here are some tips you should take to heart.

Beware of what’s in your photo – Going the route of not putting up a photo is simply unnecessary for most people, but posting a photo with too much information is downright nuts. Don’t go posting photos of you standing in front of your house, wearing your employee nametag, or… holding up an envelope with your address on it. Okay, you get the idea.

Keep it on the dating site – Singles dating sites are great for meeting people, but usually act as a springboard for offsite conversation. If you want to keep things a bit more private though, feel free to keep your online relationship on the dating site until you’ve met and built trust. This is so people will only know how to reach you via the dating site.

Make an alternative address – Having conversations via a real email account or even on Messenger can be more fun and convenient than sticking to the dating site. For those who go that route, create an email account and messenger account that you only use for online dating. This account shouldn’t contain your name and shouldn’t be linked to any other online activity (Don’t make it the address you login with on ebay or anywhere else.)

Don’t leave a trail of breadcrumbs – Facebook is a great way to blow all of your cover. It’s surprisingly easy to track down more information about a single you meet on a dating site by tracking them down on that or any other social network. The first way around this is to ensure your privacy settings on that social network are leaning to the more secure side of things. The other thing you should do is leave things like the names of schools, dates of birth and the email address you registered on Facebook with out of your online dating conversations.

These practices are good not only for your own safety, but also for keeping your social life and dating life separate. The last thing you want is for someone you meet online to go onto Facebook, see that you have friends in common, and then start asking for dirt on you. Ick. So if you have any other hints for maintaining privacy while finding dates online, please share them through our comments section.

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Pets to Wonders for the Single Life

Friday, May 22nd, 2009

Of course you don’t need to be in a long term relationship to feel complete. That’s what pets are for. Sure-sure, that immediately brings to mind a long series of images involving crazy unkempt cat ladies rocking in their chairs to the tune of four dozen intermittent, repetitive meows. Nonetheless, and in all seriousness, having a pet around really does do wonders for someone living the single life.

It’s a psychological boost – And why shouldn’t it be? Having a cat or a dog means there is a friendly life form out there that truly relies on you. On an otherwise lonely day, that little reality check can be the difference between returning home with a smile or crawling into bed with a tear soaked face and a tub of Haagen-Dazs.

Pets can give you structure – One of the best things about the freewheeling single life is the free part. There’s no one saying where you have to be or when. Sadly, that’s the worst thing to. Pets help provide that middle ground, but forcing a little structure in your life. This is especially true with dogs because they need a good walk a few times a day. Cats, on the other hand, probably don’t care when you get home.

Pets break the ice – It’s hard to take a dog out for a walk and not get stopped by strangers. Single men and women alike jump at the chance to say “Hey, can I pet your pooch?” And if they have one too, well, that just screams play date. Believe it or not, quite a lot of good matches start this way—and not just for dogs. If you are already a dog owner, you could probably vouch for this first hand. So when you’re living single in a dog friendly city like Toronto, join in the fun and live it up.

Makes you look like a nurturer – Which you are anyway, after all. This is more geared towards guys, but if you have that well taken care of pet and are willing to show it affection, women notice. More often than not, it translates to “This must be one sweet, caring guy.”

No, this doesn’t mean to go out and get a pet in hopes of buying yourself a cure-all. It also doesn’t mean you should sink your whole life into your pet; a full wardrobe, a couple strollers and a Facebook page for your pet means you’ve gone a little far.

If you have any stories about how your pet has helped out in your single life, share your thoughts in our comments section. Otherwise, just tell everyone about your pet anyway because we all know how much you like talking about that cat or dog of yours!

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