Posts Tagged ‘Match.com’

When Romantic Stories Bring You Down

Wednesday, September 30th, 2009

Do you ever get annoyed with those romantic tales of “How we met?” being broadcast all over the place? They come up during dinner table conversations, they show up in the movie and they turn up as human interest stories in the paper and on the TV. Those stories can get pretty random and even farfetched. From one couple meeting on a plane to another couple meeting when one actually arrested the other—there isn’t a lot that hasn’t happened at one time or another.

Another posting on this blog is all about one of the most random of such stories. It’s where a couple meets when one accidentally dialed the other’s phone number. They end up chatting and then they end up meeting and then they end up getting married. These things should strike us all as romantically wonderful, but sometimes it just doesn’t feel that way. At least, not for me.

For me there are dry spells. There are times when I’m always meeting singles and making connections, but the majority of my single life is spent in the dry areas. Those are the times when nothing seems to click. Sure, there’s a singles’ baking class here, a singles’ party there, and perhaps a little time invested in a dating site or two, yet no sparks fly and no connections are made. It’s during those times, when nothing seems to be working out, that I just want to give up.

Those are the times, the times when nothing in my dating world works out, that I actually despise hearing about other people’s luck. Hearing about other people who met at a bar or through friends and then dated, well that’s one thing. That’s normal. But to be going through a time in which all my great efforts result in still being alone, and then to hear about people who just magically fell into each others arms… that’s teeth grindingly frustrating.

It’s hard to keep up the motivation to get out there and meet people, to follow through with dates that friends set up, or to put my heart on the line when reading about the people who seem to fall into it so easily. Not that it isn’t great for them. Not that they may not deserve it. Not that they hadn’t likely had a hard time out on the dating scene at one point either. It’s just that by knowing other people fell into it so easily, failed efforts of my own become all the harder to take.

That’s not the only factor that kills the motivation for me of course, but it’s one that’s seemed to come up a lot lately. Do your eyes also roll when you hear those stories? Or is there something else that’s knocks you down a peg? Share your thoughts just by adding a comment below. Also, feel free to go back and comment on any other posting as well.

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Strange Dating Sites

Monday, July 20th, 2009

Singles life is fun, isn’t it? Just think, there was a time when it was dull and boring; there was a time when people didn’t even get to date and just married whoever was waiting at the altar that day—or something like that. These days it’s great to be single. Not only can we date a whole bunch before finding the right man or woman to settle down with, but we can find those other singles in all sorts of places, especially the internet.

The internet is like a mail order catalogue of single men and women. Actually, some sites really are a catalogue, but forget those for now. There are some popular sites you’ve probably heard of and more than likely visited. These sites may include Lavalife, eHarmony and, for the Js out there, Jdate. If you’re tired of the normal though, maybe you’ll want to check out some of these. Yes, the internet really does have something for everyone.

WomenBehindBars.com

Enough said. Right? Nah… this site sets itself up as being almost charitable. In theory it really isn’t that far off. It claims to be a place for incarcerated women, who may have been abandoned by friends and loved ones, to meet people understanding of their… predicament? The page is full of profiles of women who are locked up, but unlike regular dating sites you can’t email them because they don’t have computers. Instead you add women to your shopping cart—no, I’m not joking—and essentially purchase their prison addresses. There is also a “happy endings link” though I think that’s just an unfortunately named page for relationships that worked out. Anyway, no one here is going to vouch for the validity of that site but there’s quite a bit of online discussion about it and even some positive feedback. Okay then…

Trekpassions.com

Passions is a large network of free dating sites that targets people with specific interests. Members can sign up for one or multiple versions of the service at no cost. The Trekpassions.com incarnation is probably exactly what you think it is. This is where Trekies go to find love. Now while there isn’t anything inherently wrong with this—having a common love of Star Trek is just as good a place to start as any—but it’s still hard not to laugh a little. It’s especially hard to laugh when you see the “Who’s Popular” link. Anyway, if you’re dying to find someone who’ll think “Permission to come on board?” is a cleverly seductive phrase, then this is the place for you.

LoveBitten.com

What do you find stranger, the fact that this is marketed as a human/vampire dating site or the fact that it’s marketed as “The best” human/vampire dating site? Alright hold on a second… still laughing at the “Find your eternal love” tagline. The site is pretty straightforward as dating sites go. You make a profile and start searching for vampires or fangbangers. Yes, I said fangbangers. If you’re lucky you’ll meet someone like Sarah, the lovely 24 year old human, or Pao, the rugged 409 year old vampire. Hey, to each their own.

DiaperMates.com

I know what you’re thinking and yes, yes this is an offshoot of DailyDiapers.com, the place you go to get your daily dose of diaper fetish. And no, don’t get the wrong idea. These diaper wearers are all adults who just happen to enjoy wearing absorbent underwear. At the time of writing there were over twelve thousand members of DiaperMates, each supposedly looking for someone who shares their uncommon but perfectly fine if you’re okay with that sort of thing love of diaper wearing. I haven’t signed up yet myself, but please, let me know how it works out.

Think these are strange? A little out there? Us too. There are others of course, and maybe we’ll share some of those later, but for now you surely must have some thoughts racing through your head. If you need an outlet just click on comments below and shout out whatever’s on your mind. If you’re thought is “Why isn’t there a site to find incarcerated vampires who watch Star Trek while wearing diapers” you’re not alone.

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Making a Coffee Date Work

Monday, July 6th, 2009

Coffee dates are probably the most common first date idea these days. It could be because single men just aren’t all that creative when it comes to planning or it could be that they’re cheap. Most likely it has to do with the surge in online dating which has made it so first dates happen with such a great frequency that keeping them simple and low key is the best idea.

How do you make the most out of that coffee date though? Here are some good tips to make things go well, or to get out of it when things go bad.

Pick an original location – The fact that a coffee date is cliché doesn’t mean the location has to be. Wherever you live you’re likely to find all kinds of little hidden gems of cafes around town. Singles living in Toronto for instance will easily find non brand name cafes just by taking a walk down any downtown street. Make note of them for the next date you plan.

An hour is enough – Set the date for no longer than an hour. That gives you both enough time to see if there’s a spark or not. Also, if the date is terrible it means you can leave relatively quickly without needing an excuse. Really, there’s no reason why you can’t be blunt about that either. “Let’s just meet for an hour tomorrow night and if we like each other we can plan a better date next week,” or something of that sort.

Don’t try too hard – Especially if you arrange the date to be a quick meeting, just to get an initial sense of the person, then there’s no need to break out your big guns. Relax, be yourself and breathe. Remember that you’re having a quick date so all you need is to make a good enough impression to make it to date two. At date two you can start some hardcore wooing.

Follow up – Get in touch the next day, even if there was no spark. There’s a good chance that if you didn’t feel it, they didn’t feel it either but politely thanking them for the nice time is just good manners. We all want to have good manners, don’t we?

All that being said, coffee shops aren’t the only places to go for low budget get-to-know-yous. There are always other options, and it all just depends on you. Speaking of you, if you have any thoughts on this or any other blog entry, please share them with us through our comments section.

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