It’s awful, I know. You are hitting on a guy, or a woman, and something goes wrong. You make an embarrassing slip up, and suddenly feel as though you’ve lost out and can no longer get the phone number you’ve been angling for. What do you do? How do you come back from this? Take a look, and see what you think.
Your joke bombs – You’ve seen Carson and Letterman do this. They tell a joke that goes nowhere. It could be a very embarrassing situation, even for them. In a social situation it’s death. Fortunately, you can do the same thing those guys have done. Recover by instantly telling another joke, one that makes fun of the previous joke.
Someone makes a joke about you – This is the worst. You think you’re getting along great, but then someone in the group makes a joke about you. You want to turn absolutely red. How do you survive this without embarrassment? Easy. Agree with the joke. “Yeah, I am kinda short.” Make a joke right back at them if you’re comfortable with it. So long as you avoid going on the defensive, you’re fine.
You can’t remember their name – Uhoh, this person knows you. But you don’t know them. That’s awful, right? You get embarrassed and nervous and fear that you’ll be found out. The easiest solution is to be (sorta) honest and right from the start say that you can’t remember their name. Pre-empt this with “Sorry, but I’m really out of it tonight and…” or something like that. Otherwise, you can ask a question like, when did you see them last, and they’ll answer. This might help you remember.
What embarrassing situations have you found yourself in lately, and did you survive? Add a comment below and share your experience. Just click on the comments link and let us know what you’re thinking, and help start a conversation.
Until Next Time,
Phil
Meet Market Adventures Dating Expert
phil@meetmarketadventures.com
I once read a wonderful book about picking up women—written by a woman, incidentally—and the author began with a story about a man who brought her out on the prowl to show her how well he does. He did very well. The kicker to all this was that he was a short chubby man, kinda balding and, frankly, the last guy you’d expect to be a lady’s man.
What he taught her that night is something a lot of guys were lucky enough to learn at an early age. It’s that one of the best secrets to picking up women is not to pick them up. In other words, don’t look for women to impress and win over. Look for women who are already into you. With a little know how, this can be done in an instant.
The idea is to walk into wherever you’re walking into. A bar or a club or even a singles event. Women will look at you. It’s normal and it’s natural. What you do at that time is look to see which ones are looking at you, and which of those women are actually into you.
The first clue that a woman is into you is when she looks for a prolonged period of time. Prolonged is anything beyond a glance. Unless you happened to die your hair pink that day, chances are a long look is an interested look. Maybe it’s not an all out “I want him”, but it’s a good place to start nonetheless.
At the same time, look for body language. Are they in a closed off stance or an open stance. Are they leaning towards the people they are with, towards you or more neutral (hint: the latter two are good)? A head cocked to the side and a bit of skin being exposed are also good things to see. She may even lean over and whisper to a friend—our self conscious selves want to assume she’s saying something bad, but what could that be? It’s probably good.
Once you identify the ones that are interested in you, the next step is simple. Just talk to her. Offer to buy her a drink. Don’t be too eager and don’t try too hard, at this point you want her to work to win you over, and she will work. To get better at this, do some research into human body language and you’ll be well on your way. Then, let us know how it goes.
Until Next Time,
Phil
Meet Market Adventures Dating Expert
phil@meetmarketadventures.com
So you complain and complain about men and how they are always too shy or stupid to come talk to you when you go to bars. That’s all well and fine, but instead of complaining about it, you could be more proactive and take things into your own hands. Why not go and pickup a man? Get your hands dirty, give this a try.
Go where you’re comfortable – If the bar scene isn’t for you, go to a bookshop or a social function. Whatever makes you feel at ease. It’s best to be somewhere where you’ll be able to find single guys, of course, which is why the bar scene has worked so well.
Flirt – Start by flirting from a distance. This helps you gauge his attraction to you, and his interest. It also butters him up, getting him ready for what comes next. Flirting isn’t all that hard, either. Remember, a little eye contact, look away. Show some shoulder, turn away. Whatever works for you is good, and it will definitely work for him.
Go say hi – If you’re lucky, he’d have picked up on the flirting and then approach you. Realistically though, guys are easily intimidated. That’s why you have to go up to him and start a conversation. This is as easy as saying hi. Things may go naturally from there, but you should be prepared with a topic to steer things towards. Asking questions is the way to go.
Give him your number – Actually, giving him your email is just as good, and some people find it a more secure option. All you have to do here is say that you’d like to keep chatting, but you should get back to your friends. Hey, here’s an idea. If he’s got your number, you can continue talking later. Easy. Right?
When’s the last time you attempted to pickup a man? Did it work out well for you, or did you find it intimidating? Let us know your thoughts on this or any other topic. Simply add a comment below, and start a conversation.
Until Next Time,
Phil
Meet Market Adventures Dating Expert
phil@meetmarketadventures.com
I still find it strange that one of the simplest and most natural things in the world equates to one of the hardest things we actually do. What’s the big deal about approaching women and starting to flirt? I have no real answer, but a whole lot of understanding.
If you can get over the initial shyness, you’ll find that the best way to pickup women at a bar is by approaching a whole group of them at one time. Yeah, that does make things a little more awkward in the long run. I mean, it’s one thing to try to approach one woman, but to approach a whole bunch of them?
Why the group? – Approaching a group of three or more women, as opposed to just one or two, is that none of them feel as though they have to be on guard this way. It’s not as easily intimidating or threatening to have a man approach you when you’re with friends. When alone, the approach takes more care so as not to come off wrong. Also, women instinctively compete for attention. The ones you pay attention to will hog you, the ones you don’t will fight for the attention or at least wish it was being given.
Just say “hi” – To start off, don’t complicate the matter. It’s hard to accept this, but this really is the best way to go about things. Approach some women, introduce yourself, say hello, ask how they’re enjoying the night. Conversation will happen automatically.
And if one puts up a defense – You’ll encounter a woman in a group, now and then, who doesn’t want you there. At least, she wants you to think she doesn’t want you there because she’s in a bad mood, or she would rather not watch her friends get hit on, or whatever. She’ll say things to intimidate and push you away. When this happens, don’t bother engaging it. Put your attention somewhere else and politely ask one of the other women why this other one is saying those things, or if they all want you to go. They won’t, and they’ll wind up on your side.
Walk away – If you find one of them attractive and want to pursue a conversation with just them, ask to buy her a drink. Ask her friends even if they’d mind if you stole her away to buy her a drink. Another thing you could do is just walk away. Say you should get back to your friend, but you’ll “be over there” should any of them want to continue the conversation.
Give it a try. Go out tonight, grab a beer and talk to people. If you’re really shy about it, talk to groups of women where you find no one particular attractive, so there’s no actual pressure to succeed. If you have the courage, go all out and set your sites on the gold. Add a comment and let us know how it goes.
Until Next Time,
Phil
Meet Market Adventures Dating Expert
phil@meetmarketadventures.com
Men go to bars to pick up women. They don’t always succeed. Let’s face it, most of the time they don’t succeed. The reason isn’t because they keep getting rejected. It’s because the vast majority of men who go to bars to pickup women don’t actually make a move. They huddle in a corner with friends and chicken out.
Another reason for failure is that they can’t get is that many of the guys who make a real effort to pickup women can’t get the idea out of their heads that they are there to pickup women. The result is that they absolutely reek of a guy on the prowl. When you look like you’re on the prowl, women will eat you up. And not in the good way.
Next time you go to a bar and want to meet single women, have another reason to be there. When you get there, make the most out of whatever reason that is. Have fun with the friends you went there with. Don’t look around right away for the hot women to approach. This will help keep you from giving out that rotten vibe, and it will let the women know—and they will be looking around—that you are just some average guy having a good time.
If there’s dancing, dance. If there’s karaoke, sing. If there is live entertainment, cheer along. Then, when you do see a woman you find attractive, approach her right away. Yes, right away. This is one of the most important things you can do.
If you wait more than three seconds, you run the risk of staring. You run the risk of strategizing and, again, becoming a man on the prowl. You also lose the nerve. So what do you say? Anything. You can say hi. You can ask how she’s enjoying the whatever’s-going-on. Should she push you away, whatever, you’re in a groove, having fun, so you go right back to it.
Chances are she will keep the conversation going. Then, once things get interesting, turn the conversation off. This is the whole push-pull thing pickup artists talk about. When you think you’ve reeled her in, apologize and say you have to go. Go get a drink, go to the men’s room, or go back to your friends. Of course, invite her to come find you in a minute if she’d like. When she does, you’ve got her.
Next time you go to a bar, try this out. The first part is easy, as all you have to do is have a good time. The second part will take a bit of courage, but the key is not to think about it. Once you start trying to build the nerve, you’ll lose it. So just dive right in, and let us know how it goes.
Until Next Time,
Phil
Meet Market Adventures Dating Expert
phil@meetmarketadventures.com
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