There are some things guys ask of their girlfriends that are strange. Then there are things that just shouldn’t be asked. If your boyfriend is a good guy, and really knows his stuff, these things will never ever come up. A good boyfriend wouldn’t expect any of this from you.
Ask you to hang out with his ex – There’s something strange about those exes, especially the ones that linger around. Jealousy is never good, but there are still occasions where lines should be drawn, and this is a fair one. A good guy won’t put you in a situation where you have to hang out with and be all nicey nice with his ex.
Declare your love on Facebook – Okay, so a good guy may want you to do this, but only because he’s too ignorant to get how wrong this is for a lot of people out there. Facebook does not need to know your relationship status, and he has no business saying that it does. That said, if you advertise “single,” at least take that down.
Wake him up before… – You’re a girlfriend, not a wake up service. If he has to be up for something and needs to finish his nap in time, tell him to get an alarm clock. That’s not your job. However, offering to be his wakeup call now and then could be fun, provided you aren’t actually using the phone to wake him up.
Know how the team is doing – Sports may be his thing, but they don’t have to be yours. While you should show interest here and there in the things he likes, if he asks and expects you to actually know what’s going on with the team he likes, walk away. Being nice and pretending to care are two different things.
Think back to your last relationship. Were there little things like this your boyfriend tried to get you to do that didn’t sit well with you? Did you do them? Add a comment by clicking the link below, and let us know what you think.
Until Next Time,
Phil
Meet Market Adventures Dating Expert
phil@meetmarketadventures.com
It’s the little things in a relationship that do it. It’s the little thing that score us the most points when it comes to winning women over, keeping them and turning them on. Big gestures are great, sure, but anyone can do those. It’s these smaller things that we all lose track of and so, when remembered, lave a really big impact.
Pour a bath – Not just any bath, of course. This is a bath for two, complete with all the trimmings. If you don’t know what the trimmings are, swing by a little beauty shop and ask. You’ll need bath salts, oils and something pretty smelling to burn. It may not be your cup of tea, but then, a cup of tea might not be either. Still, it will make you look like superman.
Take her on a date – Yes, a date. Not just dinner, and not just a movie. Take her on a date like the ones you used to go on when you first met. It doesn’t have to be big and fancy. It just has to have the air of courtship, and it will make her feel like a million bucks.
Dance – You don’t have to go to a club or a ball to dance. You can just dance right where you are. Next time you’re in the mall and hear a good song, or passing by a street performing strumming the guitar, pull her close and dance a little. It’s the kind of thing normally reserved for romance movies, so you know it’s the kind of thing she’ll eat up.
Steal her away for lunch – Dinner is easy, you’re both free for that all the time. Tomorrow, swing by her work and take her out for lunch. Spontaneity wins over planned adventures anytime, so give this a shot. Of course, you know, she may already have plans, so maybe do a little snooping first, or be prepared for “another time.”
What little things do you do in relationships to keep the magic alive? Everyone has their secrets, but it’s time to fess up. Add a comment by clicking the link below and let us know what it is you do to make the fires burn. Or, have you yet to come up with your own little tricks?
Until Next Time,
Phil
Meet Market Adventures Dating Expert
phil@meetmarketadventures.com
There are some things that a good boyfriend will never do. Sure, there are exceptions to every rule, but if these things happen in the course of your relationship, you may want to stand back and question just what exactly is going on. Remember, you’re his girlfriend, not his maid, secretary or anything else.
He’ll never ask you to do his laundry – Look, a good guy won’t dump laundry on you and ask or expect you to do it. That’s just not couth. He can offer to do yours now and then though. Nothing wrong with that, right?
He won’t ask you to do his shopping – A good boyfriend won’t ask you to do his shopping. This includes getting his groceries, picking up new socks, or choosing a gift that he has to give someone, even though your name goes nowhere on the card. These things reek of laziness or even ineptness. Do you do these things for boyfriends? You guys should have a conversation.
He’ll never ask you to make his breakfast – This is one of those things that you should be offering to do for each other. You shouldn’t be doing it as a chore. In fact, have you ever seen him make his own breakfast, or any meal for that matter? Step away from the fridge, and let him give it a whirl.
He won’t ever ask you to… change – A boyfriend loves you for you. Why would he want you to change? This includes the “you should lose weight” comment that’s been known to crop up now and then. Let’s not confuse concern for you health with being a jerk, but chances are, this kind of move is all about him being a jerk.
What’s the dumbest thing a boyfriend ever asked of you? Better still, what things have you done for boyfriends that you wish you hadn’t? Share your thoughts with us by leaving a comment below, and let’s see where this conversation takes us.
Until Next Time,
Phil
Meet Market Adventures Dating Expert
phil@meetmarketadventures.com
We all want to impress the women we date, but how do we do this? In the end, you’ll find that it’s mostly about doing the cliché things, and that’s okay. Clichés became clichés for a reason, and while it may feel cheesy from an outsider’s view, from the receiver’s perspective these silly things are still romantic as ever.
Send poems and limericks – You don’t have to be a great poet. Just send her an occasional email or text message that rhymes. Roses are red, violets are blue, I find myself sitting here, thinking of you. See how easy that is? If it’s great, you’re golden. If it’s awful, you’re adorable. You can’t lose.
Leave her a note before you leave her place – Spent the night at a woman’s place? Want her to know you really care? Leave a note on the mirror or a sticky note on her coffee mug. Sweet and simple, have it say you had a great time, you’ll be thinking of her, or that you can’t wait to see her again.
Skip the high dining and go on a picnic – Picnics are easy dates and romantic ones at that. You just have to find a nice secluded spot on a nice day. Make sure you tell her the plan ahead of time so she can dress for the occasion, but otherwise do the legwork yourself. There’s just something about the inherent mood of a picnic that screams romance.
Flowers at random – Flowers are great on nice occasions, but they are better at the spur of the moment. Next time you see flowers for sale, grab a bunch and give them to her. Is it some kind of innate reaction that women swoon for flowers? I’ll never know, but they do.
Call to say goodnight – When you’re deep into a relationship, this will likely happen if you like it or not. When you are at the start of a relationship and want it to get more serious, this sort of thing becomes a romantic gesture. Just call to say goodnight, nothing else, and see what happens. It lets them know you’re the last thing you think about before you go to sleep. Aw.
What romantic gestures have you made for women in the past, and did they work? If you can’t think of any, we may have an answer as to why you’re here reading a singles blog. Next time you’re in a relationship, these are the things that help solidify things.
Until Next Time,
Phil
Meet Market Adventures Dating Expert
phil@meetmarketadventures.com
A leading cosmetic surgeon in Boca Raton, Florida, whom I know, estimates that one in two south Florida women, over the age of 40, elect cosmetic surgery to offset the natural effects of aging. That’s a huge percentage. Many of these women are single, and hope that the alteration of their bodies will positively alter their dating lives.
The plastic surgery industry is a whopping $15 billion and growing. In the last decade of the 20th century, elective cosmetic procedures saw a fivefold increase over the ‘80s. This enormous growth isn’t solely about dating and vanity: a study conducted by the American Economic Review found that Americans who are perceived as very attractive earn, on average, a noticeable 10-15 percent more than their average-looking counterparts. It’s also not surprising that Americans perceived as attractive also do better in the dating game.
The cosmetic surgical procedures include, among others, the augmentation of mammary glands that Nature endowed them with, or the removal of fat. My cosmetic surgeon friend had no idea what percentage of these women elect for surges in cosmic consciousness (a much lower number), but he also doesn’t know what cosmic consciousness is.
The primary reason why so many single women in south Florida and the metropolitan areas of New York and Los Angeles, for example, go under the knife is to overcome the ravages of time and continue to look good. (Women in Dubuque and Detroit don’t have this same “urgery” for surgery.) It’s too bad that the doctors who re-shape, re-build and re-sculpt don’t tell patients who are obsessed with the effects of time, that they can re-connect to an inner realm of timelessness. And the more they re-awaken to timelessness through meditation, for example, the more relaxed they’ll be with time and its consequences—to say nothing of the greater ease they’ll feel when dating.
A middle-aged single woman desiring a plastic surgery overhaul is unaware that her soul has lived for thousands of years. The more she connects to her agelessness, the younger she’ll feel within herself. No physician’s knife can do that for her. A metaphysician’s coaching, however, can.
I coach many clients in their middle years, who are stressed about getting older, that they hold within their grasp the possibility of “youthing” through re-sculpting their consciousness. Which lasts longer, I ask—a lift for their eyes or a lift for their “I? “ The question stops many women in their tracks, and opens their minds. Removing bags from under the eyes pales in comparison to opening their inner eye, which enriches every experience.
I live eight months of the year in the Sunshine State and four months in the Empire State, so I’m well aware that no discussion of plastic surgery is complete without talking about breasts. The enormity of such augmentations makes me think that Silicone Alley isn’t in California, but in Miami and Manhattan. How many women who go under the knife for implants would do so if they’d earlier chosen attitude implants—namely, affirmations, to enhance how they feel about themselves and their bodies. But with our society’s bigger-is-better mindset, breast enlargement is all the rage. Fortunately, there are still women who prefer heart enlargement; choosing to awaken compassion–not only for others and their imperfections, but for their own—including the way their bodies have been made and changed over time.
Until Next Time,
Cary Bayer
Cary Bayer is a Life Coach who conducts a national private practice from his two offices: in the mountains of New York State (845-679-5526) and by the ocean in south Florida (954-788-3380). He is the author of more than two dozen publications, a teacher of Transcendental Meditation, and leads workshops on various topics of personal growth throughout the country. You can visit him on the web at www.carybayer.com or email him at successaerobics@aol.com.
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