Too Much Information About Who You Are

Apr 29, 2010 No Comments »

So it’s the 3rd or 4th date and you told her that you love Baywatch! Those babes running on the beach just make your mouth water. You’ve mentioned that you’re PMS’ing and don’t want to sit in the theatre for 2 hours otherwise you’ll kill someone!

Ahhhhhhh ladies and gentlemen, there are certain things that you just shouldn’t mention so soon!

Here are a few things you should avoid talking about or at least not excessively!

1. EX’S!!! You met someone new, so it’s a new slate. Anyone who talks excessively about their past partners should ask themselves “am I really over them?”

2. Favorite sexual pleasures with ex’s. When your relationship turns physical, the other person will unconsciously be wondering if they measure up!

3. Talk for hours about your pet! He’s a cute puppy, your cat’s adorable, but seriously, ‘ex’s and pets” TMI – keep it for your therapist!

4. Ladies, please don’t mention the fact that you’re 37 and you’re clock is ticking. Enjoy and get to know someone doesn’t mean letting them know they could be a potential donor.

5. Gents, well it’s about SPORTS!!! Unless she’s a crazed fan, but it’s a turn off when you’re babbling about the teams, the scores and she’s not even aware of the difference between a touchdown and a goal! Save this stuff for a night out with the boys!

In the beginning, dating is about getting to know someone. So be a good listener. Ask questions, and from those answers you’re asking more questions. You want to know what you have in common from being a sushi lover to what’s their favorite movie, are they are a lover of dance or art, are they couch potatoes or night owls, do you share similar values, beliefs and so on. Dating is fun, and should not be a major effort, if it is; then it’s time to stop dating this person, and move on.

Be yourself, enjoy and remember….be with someone that makes you laugh!

Talk soon,

Terri Giosia
www.terrigiosia.com
Singles-Dating coach

Follow Up Dating Tips For Single Men

Apr 28, 2010 4 Comments »

So you went out with somebody and you thought she was absolutely amazing. She was the hottest, sexiest woman of the moment. So, how do you ensure getting a second date and capitalizing on the heels of a great first date?

Here are 10 sure-fire ways to get that second date:

1. Ask her out at the end of the first date for a second date. When asking her out at the end of the date, be sure to ask her to do something she told you during the date she finds exciting. For example, if she likes Mexican food, tell her you know the best Mexican restaurant in town and you want to bring her there Tuesday night. Set that second date up so she doesn’t have time to think about the first date, and so she has something to which to look forward.

2. Text her or call her the very next day. Either text her a simple message that says “Had a great time last night, looking forward to the next time.” Or, call her and leave a message and tell her the same thing over the phone.

3. Once you’ve secured the second date, and the second date is successful, you need to set up an “activity date” for date number three, e.g., take her to the park, go to the beach, or take your dogs for a long walk. Do things that cause her to picture the two of you as a couple. Dates should be creative, not boring. Sitting there and swapping stories over dinner tends to get monotonous after date number one, so start creatively planning different dates so the two of you can start to get to know each other in a very different manner.

4. Don’t expect sex or force the issue of sex until it’s right for both parties. Take things slow and enjoy getting to know each other. There are no rules about when to have sex for the first time with a new potential partner. You’re both adults, and if a woman decides that she doesn’t want to have sex with you for a month, respect her! Or, if a woman decides she wants to have sex with you on the first date, respect that decision too! When you do have sex, make sure that the two of you handle it like adults and not like children.

5. Be positive and fun when you’re out with her on a date. Don’t bash your ex’s. Don’t complain about all the things that are wrong in your life. Spend time getting to know each other’s good sides.

6. Listen to your date. Question things that don’t sound right. Have a two-sided conversation instead of talking at her. Most men tend to want to impress women based on their accomplishments. Women enjoy getting to know a man based on what’s inside. So spend time listening and having a conversation instead of bragging about yourself. The less you brag, the more interested she will be!

7. When out with your date, do not check out other women in front of her. Do this, and you’ll never get another date with her again.

8. Compliment her once about the way she looks. Don’t tell her all night long how beautiful she is, because she will start to think that you’ve never before been out with a woman as beautiful as her, and you’ll start to lose your power.

9. Instead of complimenting her looks, compliment her mind. Bond with her mentally and emotionally and physically, and she will bond with you in ways that you’ve never experienced before!

10. Don’t agree with everything she says. Challenge her mind – don’t just agree with her. If you agree with everything she says, she’ll look at you as being weak. If she sees you as being weak, she will no longer be attracted to you and you will no longer get a second look or a second date. I’m not telling you to be confrontational. I’m telling you to be open, honest and real.

Follow some of these tips, and I will assure you that you will get past that first date far more than you have in the past.

Talk soon,

David
david@davidwygant.com

How Important Is The First Date Kiss

Apr 28, 2010 3 Comments »

Just how important is the first kiss at the end of the first date?

Recently I was talking to a single client of mine about this very subject, and I was telling her that sometimes I don’t kiss at the end of a first date. I go in for the hug.

I just think the first kiss on the first date is overrated. Technically you are total strangers. You sat across from each other at a table somewhere, or maybe you took a walk in the park, or you spent a couple hours talking and then what? You need to seal it with a kiss?

I don’t think the first kiss is important on the first date. What’s important on the first date is the recap in your mind after you leave them. Let me ask you a few questions. When you go home and you do the post-date recap:

* How do you feel?
* What are you thinking about?
* What did you think about this person and their lifestyle?
* What did you think about some of the stories they were sharing?
* Were there any warning signs?
* Was there anything they said that really made you nervous?
* Is there anything you want to do with them the next time you see them?
* Can you imagine sharing one of their adventures that they described?

Another step in evaluating the first date occurs when you wake up the next morning. When you wake up:

Did you think about the person? Are you still excited the next morning that you met that person? While you’re kind of hanging out and going to work the next day, did you have a smile on your face that you met someone really cool the night before?

There’s a lot of pressure about the first kiss at the end of the first date. The first kiss at the end of the first date also does not necessarily mean that you’re going to end up seeing the person again. It could just be that you felt like you had to kiss them just because it was the end of the date.

I feel kissing at the end of the first date is so predictable. Not kissing a woman at the end of the first date is the opposite, it just shows a sense of patience. It’s also really nice to get a hug at the end of the first date, because really you’re both nervous at the end of the first date. She’s wondering if you are going to kiss her. You’re wondering if you should kiss her. So, why bother?

A lot of times there’s not even a lot of passion in that first date first kiss. It’s a nervous, windshield wiper kiss. Your tongues do a little dance in each other’s mouth. Neither one of your hands are moving anywhere. It’s kind of like your first dance in high school.

So let’s get rid of the misconception about the first date first kiss. What’s more important is the follow-up phone call, or asking them out during the first date for another date. Those are signs of real interest. Real interest is also calling them the next day, seeing what they’re up to, and getting together with them soon so you can keep the momentum going. This will make the first kiss a real first kiss.

So here’s a question for all of you: Do you like to hug, or do you need that first kiss for confirmation at the end of the first date? Do you desire a nervous windshield wiper kiss or a passionate second day after kiss?

Talk soon,

David
david@davidwygant.com

7 Signs He Sees You as a PAL Not a GAL

Apr 27, 2010 No Comments »

Most single women eliminate their chances of getting a man’s attention, affection, and commitment simply because they fail to act like a gal and, in consequence, can only be seen as a pal. Fortunately, it’s not you—it’s your technique, and anyone can change their technique.

To identify if you act like a pal instead of a gal, ask yourself the following:

1. Do I occasionally tilt my head and smile at him from across the room, look away, and then look back again?
2. Do I ever cross my legs and gently tap my foot in his direction or slowly play with my hair, jewelry, or a pen when he is near?
3. Do I act feminine when I talk with him (i.e., soften and fluctuate my voice, talk with my hands, tilt my hips, cross my legs, or touch him briefly)?
4. Do I let him open my door or accept his offers of help?
5. Do I make him feel needed, trusted, and appreciated?
6. Do I express to him my feelings, needs, or opinions—and in a manner that demonstrates my faith that he cares?
7. Do I leave the conversation early, at a high point, rather than waiting for him to say he has to go?

Engaging in feminine and flirtatious behaviors like these is not about you and getting attention. It is about him—about making him feel great. To understand this, you must first learn the secrets to the male psychology:

* Men seek out relationships that make them feel trusted and respected.
* Men develop love through sacrifice (theirs—not yours).
* Men are driven to succeed, face challenges, compete, and conquer.
* Men like women who like themselves.
* Men like femininity.
* Men pursue women who appear approachable and available.
* Men like women who have opinions and assert their needs (especially when they communicate in a way that is respectful, clear, and direct).
* Men need to be needed.
* Men love to feel like heroes.
* Men like being appreciated.

Once a woman learns these secrets to the male psychology, she can begin to understand why:

* Acting cool, casual, indifferent, and flat in her body language (i.e. acting like a pal), tells a man she does not have faith in him or trust his ability to respect her feminine, vulnerable, or softer side.
* Giving a man her number, calling him, or asking him out (without his pursuit of these things first) robs him of the challenge, sacrifice, and accomplishment that he needs to engage in if he is to value and appreciate her.
* Refusing a man’s help not only tells him he is not needed or important, it also denies him the opportunity to experience her appreciation and to feel like a hero.

Some women may argue that acting feminine, warm, approachable, available, and appreciative of a man’s time, investment (financially, emotionally, or physically), and help is merely acting weak and too accommodating, and, as such, likely to turn a man off. But most men will agree, if she does all these things while also expressing her opinions and asserting her needs, she will only appear to like herself all the more and increase his excitement, interest, and investment in her as well. This is especially the case if she understands the importance of expressing herself without criticism, nagging, and whining and ends contact during the high point of the evening rather than two hours later (the result: he longs for more time with her rather than worrying about how he can escape the conversation).

So, to ensure men see you as a gal and not a pal, simply learn to show more faith in their goodness, their desire to please, their willingness to invest in you and the relationship, and their ability to respond with gentleness when you act soft and feminine.

Authored by Alisa Goodwin Snell, Dating Coach
www.ItsYourTechnique.com
Author of Dating Game Secrets for Marrying a Good Man

How To Create A Dynamic Online Dating Profile For Single Men

Apr 27, 2010 1 Comment »

I have always believed that you need a balance between meeting people Online and meeting people Offline, because nothing is ever going to work 100% of the time. You need to learn how to be really good at both Online and offline dating.

What I’ve learned and realized about Online dating is that to be truly successful, it is essential to be able to write an amazing profile. Most men have no idea how to write a good profile. They write a profile from a guy’s point of view. When a woman reads a profile like this, it actually does nothing to make her want to contact him.

You need to bring your dynamic personality into your Online profile. Instead of just writing “I’m an accountant and I love what I do,” be more dynamic and say something like “I have always loved crunching numbers, but I do it creatively so no one gets in trouble with the IRS.”

Online and offline are exactly the same – you need to be fun and flirtatious in both situations. You know when you ask someone what they do for a living and they answer with “I’m a lawyer” or “I’m an accountant.” Where do you go from there? If you instead answer that question by saying “I creatively massage numbers so my clients don’t get in trouble with the IRS,” it leads to a more engaging follow-up conversation.

When writing your profile, think about everything you’re writing like a conversation. If the “conversation” you’re writing would be interesting in person, then you’ve done a good job of profile writing. If not then you need to keep re-writing your profile.

Your Online dating profile is as important as putting up good pictures. Women want to be able to get excited about contacting you. If you’re just throwing up some information and expecting women to respond to your profile, you will fail in Online dating.

Online dating is extremely competitive. The men who have the best profiles are the men who consistently get dates. The men who know how to write clever emails to get a woman’s attention will consistently get the dates.

With that in mind, here are my six essential keys to writing a winning profile:

1. Your profile must create emotions. Instead of writing “I love to travel and see new places,” try writing it this way: “Traveling is my passion. Whenever I take a trip to another country, I learn something new about myself and I appreciate my life even more. When I was in Thailand checking out the Buddhist temples, I was able to not only see history but feel history.” What this does to a woman reading this profile, is create an emotional attachment.

When you write about your love of travel as a story, she can picture visiting Thailand or traveling with you. If you just describe something by putting it in a list, you’re not going to create an emotional attachment for her. Women are emotional beings, and they are the ones who will be reading your profile. So learn to create stories when describing your passions.

2. Don’t say in your profile that “My friends say I’m a wonderful person.” I’ve seen men do that countless times. You don’t let women know you’re great by telling them that your friends think you’re great. This doesn’t tell a woman anything. She doesn’t know who your friends are, so you are better to talk about things you love to do. This allows women who read your profile to think you’re great, which is your objective.

For instance, a client of mine volunteers at a homeless shelter once a week. So in his profile he wrote, My Saturdays are my favorite day of the week. I volunteer at the local homeless shelter and spend three hours helping others feel better about themselves. Something like this shows a woman what type of person you are and that is what she wants to see.

3. Don’t tell women in your profile that you’re funny – show them WHY you’re funny. For instance, I live in LA and I hate the traffic there. So, in my Online dating profile, I wrote: “Just when you think you’ve seen everything in LA, you get on the 405 and see someone driving 80 mph texting and plucking their eyebrows at the same time. Now that’s something I need to learn!”

What you’re doing is making fun of yourself and making a joke. As a guy, you don’t pluck your eyebrows you may text, but you don’t pluck. Women are attracted to humor. So get a woman to laugh when she reads your profile, because your profile should get her to feel like she’s flirting with you in her head.

4. Never say in your Online profile how confident and successful you are. Women hate men who brag about themselves. It actually turns them OFF. They are, however, extremely attracted to very confident men. So instead of bragging about yourself, say something like this: “I’ve worked really hard in my life to become who I am. Every time I’ve fallen down, I’ve dusted myself off, checked out my wounds, gotten up and tried again. Being successful to me means having the freedom to do what I want which of course is having time to hang out with you.” By saying something like that, you’re telling a woman that you’re successful but humble. You’re also throwing a little bit of humor in there which also helps.

5. As for photos on your profile, they MUST be clear, up close, and recent. Women need to see your eyes, so it’s really important that you are not wearing sunglasses in most (if not all) of your photos. It is also essential that you choose pictures that show your face and your body, so women can see what you look like overall.

Your pictures are part of what makes or can ruin a good profile. Your pictures should also help to create a feeling of emotion inside a woman. Don’t put up pictures on your profile of you and your buddies drinking or any picture where you can’t see your eyes.

Stay away from pictures of you and your buddies drinking. Women are not looking to hang out with a frat boy. They don’t want to hang out every Friday night in a bar sucking down shots with you and your buddies. Instead, why not put up a picture of you volunteering, or how about a funny picture of you cooking for a dinner party?

Put up pictures that show that you have interests in activities other than alcohol consumption. A woman wants to know you are fun and social, but she also wants to be able to picture having a good time with you. Choosing a picture of you biking in Italy, therefore, meets this desire and will create emotion in women.

Women are not looking for a partner in crime on a bar stool they are looking for a partner in crime in life. Those drunken pictures will turn women off, not turn them on. Women want a man not a manboy. So look through all your pictures and select ones that will paint a picture of who you are as a person. This includes putting up photos of you in different life situations.

For instance, you may put up one picture of you in business attire, one picture of you in play mode, and one picture of you with your dog. Also, try to include clear photos that show you participating in your favorite activities, such as hiking, biking or playing tennis. Just make sure not to select “distance shots” showing you at the top of the mountain but in which you are too small to see clearly. Use only close up shots here so women are able to see YOU.

Your pictures should show women all the different sides of you, and the pictures of you that you put up on your profile should represent who you are at this stage in your life. So what I suggest is that you have a friend of yours take some new photos of you. If you write a fantastic profile, but your pictures don’t match, a woman will be disappointed when she meets you.

6. Be honest in your profile! A lot of men will massage the truth in their profile. The major problem that occurs when men are less than honest occurs after you’ve gone out on a date with a woman. She will go back after the date and re-read your profile to see if there are any discrepancies. It’s almost like she is looking to see if you’re as real as you appear to be. So make sure everything you write in your profile is totally representative of who you are right now in your life.

Your online dating profile is designed to help women form an opinion about you. Written correctly, your profile will entice her to contact you immediately. Women re-read profiles over and over again because they want to get to know who you are and they want to get excited about meeting you. The more you put in your profile that expresses your personality, the easier it is for a woman to decide to email you because she’ll have a better idea of what to talk about with you.

If you ever look at the women who have viewed you, you are looking at women who will contact you, email you and who will read your profile over and over again – even after she meets you. That’s why being honest in your profile is so very important.

Online dating is very competitive. In order to stand out amongst the sea of single men who are Online, you need to invest the time necessary to create a great profile.

While a great profile is essential to successfully dating Online, it is also only one piece of the equation.

Talk soon,

David
david@davidwygant.com