Signs a Man Doesn’t Like You

Jul 21, 2009 3 Comments »

Like is a strong word. If a guy doesn’t like you he probably just won’t stay around. The real question is how can you tell if a man doesn’t like you in the romantic way you’re hoping?

It’s probably one of the biggest frustrations amongst single women there are. Guys just aren’t all that easy to read when it comes to these sorts of things. Sure, when it comes to whether or not he’s attracted to you men are probably a lot easier to figure out than women, but what it’s a matter of whether or not he’s into you enough to get serious… it’s hard to tell.

You haven’t met his friends – Forget his family, if you haven’t met his friends and you’ve been dating him for a while, there’s a good chance he’s not ready or willing to take your relationship seriously. There are other reasons he may be keeping his friends at bay, sure, but usually it’s a bad sign.

The future is singular – Single men talk about what they want to do in the future by using the words “I” and “me.” Men who feel that they are in a relationship with someone they truly like will talk about the future with “we” and “us.” If the guy you’re with keeps talking about things that he wants to do and not things that you both should do, there’s a good chance that he’s not as into you as you’re into him.

Sorry, who are you? – If you do meet his friends and none of them seem to know anything about you, you’ll probably actually be able to see the red lights flashing. When a guy likes a girl he’s dating he’s going to talk about her and brag about her even. While not all of his friends are going to hear about you the closer ones should. If not, you two should have a serious talk.

All plans are last minute and all calls are late – When a guy only gets in touch with you late at night, or when you never seem to be able to make plans with him ahead of time, it’s quite possibly because he’s thinking about you as a booty call or a backup plan. While he obviously likes you enough to want to see you, he certainly doesn’t like you enough to want anything serious.

You never get to talk about your dreams – If the man you are dating doesn’t show any active interest in the plans you’re making for the future it’s very likely because he actually isn’t interested in the plans you’re making for the future. When a man likes you he will want to know what you’re dreaming, hoping and planning ahead for.

These are five of the biggest clues to look out for when in the early stages of a relationship or dating. There are definitely other signs as well and they are also worth some discussion. Feel free to add thoughts about that or anything else to our comments section by clicking below.

Strange Dating Sites

Jul 20, 2009 4 Comments »

Singles life is fun, isn’t it? Just think, there was a time when it was dull and boring; there was a time when people didn’t even get to date and just married whoever was waiting at the altar that day—or something like that. These days it’s great to be single. Not only can we date a whole bunch before finding the right man or woman to settle down with, but we can find those other singles in all sorts of places, especially the internet.

The internet is like a mail order catalogue of single men and women. Actually, some sites really are a catalogue, but forget those for now. There are some popular sites you’ve probably heard of and more than likely visited. These sites may include Lavalife, eHarmony and, for the Js out there, Jdate. If you’re tired of the normal though, maybe you’ll want to check out some of these. Yes, the internet really does have something for everyone.

WomenBehindBars.com

Enough said. Right? Nah… this site sets itself up as being almost charitable. In theory it really isn’t that far off. It claims to be a place for incarcerated women, who may have been abandoned by friends and loved ones, to meet people understanding of their… predicament? The page is full of profiles of women who are locked up, but unlike regular dating sites you can’t email them because they don’t have computers. Instead you add women to your shopping cart—no, I’m not joking—and essentially purchase their prison addresses. There is also a “happy endings link” though I think that’s just an unfortunately named page for relationships that worked out. Anyway, no one here is going to vouch for the validity of that site but there’s quite a bit of online discussion about it and even some positive feedback. Okay then…

Trekpassions.com

Passions is a large network of free dating sites that targets people with specific interests. Members can sign up for one or multiple versions of the service at no cost. The Trekpassions.com incarnation is probably exactly what you think it is. This is where Trekies go to find love. Now while there isn’t anything inherently wrong with this—having a common love of Star Trek is just as good a place to start as any—but it’s still hard not to laugh a little. It’s especially hard to laugh when you see the “Who’s Popular” link. Anyway, if you’re dying to find someone who’ll think “Permission to come on board?” is a cleverly seductive phrase, then this is the place for you.

LoveBitten.com

What do you find stranger, the fact that this is marketed as a human/vampire dating site or the fact that it’s marketed as “The best” human/vampire dating site? Alright hold on a second… still laughing at the “Find your eternal love” tagline. The site is pretty straightforward as dating sites go. You make a profile and start searching for vampires or fangbangers. Yes, I said fangbangers. If you’re lucky you’ll meet someone like Sarah, the lovely 24 year old human, or Pao, the rugged 409 year old vampire. Hey, to each their own.

DiaperMates.com

I know what you’re thinking and yes, yes this is an offshoot of DailyDiapers.com, the place you go to get your daily dose of diaper fetish. And no, don’t get the wrong idea. These diaper wearers are all adults who just happen to enjoy wearing absorbent underwear. At the time of writing there were over twelve thousand members of DiaperMates, each supposedly looking for someone who shares their uncommon but perfectly fine if you’re okay with that sort of thing love of diaper wearing. I haven’t signed up yet myself, but please, let me know how it works out.

Think these are strange? A little out there? Us too. There are others of course, and maybe we’ll share some of those later, but for now you surely must have some thoughts racing through your head. If you need an outlet just click on comments below and shout out whatever’s on your mind. If you’re thought is “Why isn’t there a site to find incarcerated vampires who watch Star Trek while wearing diapers” you’re not alone.

Body Language – Things You Should Avoid Doing

Jul 19, 2009 No Comments »

Body language is an interesting thing. It’s one of those things that most people understand but few people know how to communicate. That means whether you realize it or not, there’s a good chance you are quite often responding to the things someone’s body language is telling you, yet you don’t know how to tell other people things through body language. That’s okay really, because they don’t know what they’re telling you either.

Now, it may be that you don’t want to become a body language expert and don’t really care how you can interpret what it means when a guy thirty feet away from you scratches his knows, but whatever your feelings on the subject are, it’s quite possible your lack of understanding could in fact be hurting you. Whether it’s in your dating life or your professional life, the last thing you want is to be accidently telling someone you’re not interested.

Crossed arms – We’ll start with this one because it’s the one that most people are familiar with. Crossed arms project a few things that you probably don’t want to be projecting in a lot of situations. They tell people that you are feeling defensive or on guard. It’s bad enough to do that when already having a conversation with someone but it’s actually quite hard to even get approached when your arms are crossed. Try doing it next time you want to avoid getting approached by street marketers.

Crossed lets – See above. Really. It’s pretty much the same except you won’t likely be doing it while walking down the street. In social situations though this one is more forgivable because then it can just translate into a sign of being relaxed. Still, if you don’t want to take any chances when hoping to make a good impression you should open them legs up. Okay, not that much or you’re liable to communicate something else.

Looking away – When someone’s talking to you, look at them. It says you’re paying attention. Hopefully you’ve learned this long ago—most people do but not many take control of it. Looking down or away in any other direction just says you want to be somewhere else. Those actions can also be distracting to the person talking to you. That said, looking around a little bit while you’re the one talking is okay and practically natural.

Turning your body – When your body or even a foot is pointing away for the person you’re talking to, it tells them that you are getting ready to walk away. This subtle action gets communicated so loudly that experts say it’s one of the best things to do when approaching a stranger so they don’t feel threatened. If you stay that way for too long though, the person you’re speaking with will think you’re trying to leave and they’ll probably act accordingly.

Keep in mind that body language is far from an exact science. Also keep in mind that it isn’t a universal language. People in New York, Toronto, Vanouver, etc. likely speak the same body language, but once you go somewhere as far off as Korea the culture will change things a little.

There’ll be more about body language in a later blog posting, but for now if you have any thoughts to add to this you can do so through our comments section. You can also go back and comment on any previous posting.

Privacy Tips for Online Dating

Jul 18, 2009 3 Comments »

A lot has been said about online dating and how to play things safe, but one of the things with the most overall importance online is privacy. In an age where so many single women and men are taking to the internet, privacy is a huge deal.

Whether you’re from a small town or living the single life in a big city like Toronto or New York, the issue is all the same. Why? Because the internet knows no borders. So if you have an online dating profile on one or more sites, or if you’re planning on setting one up in the near future, here are some tips you should take to heart.

Beware of what’s in your photo – Going the route of not putting up a photo is simply unnecessary for most people, but posting a photo with too much information is downright nuts. Don’t go posting photos of you standing in front of your house, wearing your employee nametag, or… holding up an envelope with your address on it. Okay, you get the idea.

Keep it on the dating site – Singles dating sites are great for meeting people, but usually act as a springboard for offsite conversation. If you want to keep things a bit more private though, feel free to keep your online relationship on the dating site until you’ve met and built trust. This is so people will only know how to reach you via the dating site.

Make an alternative address – Having conversations via a real email account or even on Messenger can be more fun and convenient than sticking to the dating site. For those who go that route, create an email account and messenger account that you only use for online dating. This account shouldn’t contain your name and shouldn’t be linked to any other online activity (Don’t make it the address you login with on ebay or anywhere else.)

Don’t leave a trail of breadcrumbs – Facebook is a great way to blow all of your cover. It’s surprisingly easy to track down more information about a single you meet on a dating site by tracking them down on that or any other social network. The first way around this is to ensure your privacy settings on that social network are leaning to the more secure side of things. The other thing you should do is leave things like the names of schools, dates of birth and the email address you registered on Facebook with out of your online dating conversations.

These practices are good not only for your own safety, but also for keeping your social life and dating life separate. The last thing you want is for someone you meet online to go onto Facebook, see that you have friends in common, and then start asking for dirt on you. Ick. So if you have any other hints for maintaining privacy while finding dates online, please share them through our comments section.

Online Dating: Things You Should Not Do

Jul 17, 2009 6 Comments »

Online dating etiquette is a huge deal. It’s huge because so many people break the rules at such a great frequency. The problem is that it’s so easy to live manners-free in the anonymous world of the internet, but it certainly doesn’t help that the rules aren’t really written down.

Single men and women everywhere, take note. The following is a list of internet dating don’ts. These are things you should keep in mind when perusing and interacting on pretty much any dating web site out there.

Don’t type in capitals – Why? BECAUSE! For some reason, either learned or innate, we’ve come to interpret capitalized words as yelling. Who wants to be yelled at? If you type any part of your correspondence in all capital letters there’s a very good chance that the person you’re writing to WON’T LIKE YOU. It just feels insulting.

Don’t harass another user – This happens a lot and there’s really no good reason for it. One of the most common examples of it is when people write emails chastising someone for not replying to their previous email. Should you ever have the urge to do that, step back and ask yourself: Who does this benefit? You surely won’t win a friend out of it.

Don’t be insulting – On the internet, walking away is incredibly easy. If someone upsets you, all you have to do is close the window. Don’t get yourself in a battle of nasty words because, again, no one gets anything out of this. What’s more, there’s a very good chance that whatever upset you came out of pure miscommunication. That happens a lot online because too many people express themselves not good, unfortunately.

Don’t lie – Most people expand their singles scene to include the internet so as to attract someone for a serious relationship, or at least a casual one that may steer towards serious down the road. Even if you’re not one of those people it’s important to respect the fact that the person you’re talking with just might be. In either circumstance, the most innocent of lies can come back to haunt you or hurt them. Online dating isn’t meant to be an alternate reality, so don’t turn it into one.

Don’t push to get what’s been denied – If someone doesn’t want to send you a picture, then don’t keep pushing for one. If someone doesn’t want to give out a phone number, a last name or even an email address, then just let it go. It may be that you can’t deal with a person who won’t give out those things, but all you can do then is politely withdraw. Nagging, pleading or bossing someone around is just bad form.

This is just a taste of some of the online internet etiquette don’ts, and there will be more posted in the future. If there are any missing that you want to discuss right away, or if you have something else to say on the issue, feel free to do so on our comments forum.