Tips for Having a Happy Day, Everyday

Jul 31, 2009 No Comments »

The difference between single life and life is just the addition of that one little word, and the first one can’t be a good one unless the latter one is good all by itself. Keeping life feeling good isn’t always easy though and that’s especially true for all of us singles who are living up in places like Montreal or Vancouver, where half the year gives us short, short days. Fortunately we’re in the summer now and hopefully that’s keeping everyone’s spirits up. Summer won’t last forever though, and so here are some tips for keeping your days happy all year round.

Eat breakfast – And not just because it’s every mother’s mantra. Like the cereal commercials say, breakfast is an important meal and is what helps get us through the day. At the very least, if nothing else, and as a truly last resort, try out a breakfast shake or breakfast bar for those mornings when there’s no time to pour milk in a bowl.

Exercise – You don’t even need to have a firm exercise regiment to follow, or a membership to a gym. It turns out that in the old days people would exercise just by doing whatever it was the day called for. The same can be true today if you’d do things like take the stairs, lose the car keys once in a while and walk the dog.

Alone time – Even the happiest and most sociable people need a bit of alone time. Take time out of your day to step away from the office rush, away from the chattering hoards and just find somewhere quiet to think… or not think.

Do one of those things you need to do – You know those annoying, frustrating and bothersome chores you have? Do one little one a day. It probably won’t take much time and then it will keep that weight off your shoulders.

Do something you don’t need to do – Have a random moment or two in your day, even if you have to schedule it in. Go window shopping, knock on a friend’s door or strum that guitar that’s collecting dust in the corner. It’s a good reward for doing that previous thing.

Laugh – Laughing is good for you, and if you laugh enough you can even count it against that exercise you should be doing. Either way, this really is a good way of keeping a smile on your face. Find something to make you laugh a few times a day and your mind will start realizing you’re happy and then treat you accordingly.

Try those things on for starters and see how it goes. Then maybe some other people will have a tip or two to share. Check out our comments section to find out, or even add your own thoughts and comments. Just click on the link below.

Online Dating: Your Match is Guaranteed

Jul 30, 2009 1 Comment »

Have you seen those ads? The one for dating sites that actually guarantee a perfect match, or the ones that claim their singles work out better than all the rest? Do you believe it?

Dating sites aren’t perfect and if you put too much stock in them you’re likely to lose out on the dating life altogether. There has never been a perfect system for matching people an there likely never will. Okay, let’s take that back. The way science is going, there probably will be a perfect system one day, but who really wants that?

As for why the matching process on dating sites doesn’t mean much, there are a lot of reasons. For instance, most of them don’t really take a lot of things into account when give you a match. What they do take into account is often stuff that members lie about anyway. A typical site will match you based on things like age criteria, smoking vs non smoking preferences, and what type of relationship is being sought out.

None of that really does that much for you, does it? At the very most it narrows down the profiles you have to weed through. In all fairness, a lot of the dating sites out there don’t pretend to be good for much more than that. They know that you’ll want to search a certain age group and perhaps filter out the smokers (sorry smokers) and whatnot. From there they leave it to you, because they also know that the best matches will come out of conversation, and all they really want to do is provide a medium for that to take place.

As for the sites that rank your compatibility or give you matches based on what is supposedly science, what’s that about? If you’ve looked at them and thought something was wrong you aren’t alone. The science behind those matches is still not what it’s built up to be.

The more complex systems involve lengthy surveys in which members check off boxes that best describe them and then those things get compared to everyone else. These things fall short because, again, people don’t always tell the truth. What’s worse is that people don’t always understand the truth. How can they not understand the truth? Well, when faced with a convoluted question with four vague possible answers it’s kind of easy to lose all sense of understanding.

Besides, how important is it to you that the person you end up falling for also selected “b: I somewhat agree with that statement”?

The bottom line to all of this is that dating sites are great, but matches don’t amount to much. Enjoy the fact that you can filter out qualifiers such as people half your age or twice your age, but other than that don’t count on any quick way to the end. You have to browse, read and contact and then trust your instincts, not the surveys.

What do you think about all of that? Do you find internet dating site matches actually do represent highly compatible matches for you, or are you like the many who’ve looked at the results with a puzzled gaze? Share your thoughts on the matter by clicking the comments link below.

How Can You Standout From Other Singles?

Jul 29, 2009 No Comments »

How do you stand out from other singles? It’s an important yet difficult thing to do, but without standing out you really can’t project any value. While that’s not the most romantic way of phrasing it, it’s what a lot of dating really comes down to.

Women and men are often faced with the problem of standing out in their single life. The following tips will help you accomplish that though, if you follow through.

Know where you want to be – Too many people don’t know where they’re headed in life and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. If you want to stand out though and even add some intrigue, it would be good to figure that out for yourself. It won’t come to you over night, but meditate on it a little. Then next time you’re at a singles event and someone asks you “So, what are your goals?” you’ll be able to say something a little deeper than “Get a promotion, get married, have kids…” Not that there’s anything wrong with those, they just don’t have much colour and really aren’t unique to you. Build on them. Be different.

Don’t just be willing to try new things – If you’ve been on enough dates or read a few dozen dating profiles, you’ve no doubt come across the line “Loves to try new things” a heck of a lot. How many of those people actually do try new things though? Be one of the few who are actually open to new experiences and actively seeks them out. This will not only make you a richer person, but it will give you more to talk about; it will likely give you interesting things to talk about.

Take a chance with your wardrobe – Wear what you want, not what you’re told to want. That doesn’t mean to go out in your sweatshirt and joggers because you think they’re comfy. It means to try to look good but on your terms. If you need a place to start, go out shopping and find something that you really like but would normally be steered against. This time buy it and then build an outfit around it. Maybe it’s a hat. Maybe it’s gloves. Maybe it’s a bright flashing button that says “Cool Dude.” The thing to remember is that the only time clothes really don’t work are the times when the person wearing them really doesn’t believe in them.

Highlight your insecurities – Do you talk too much? Point it out and make a joke. Are you shy around new people? Poke fun at yourself. Joking isn’t the only way to highlight your insecurities, but it’s one of the best ways and easiest ways to do it. It also lightens the mood and lets people know they can have fun with you. What this actually accomplishes though is takes the things you normally hide, the things that keep you from meeting new people, and puts them centre stage. It gives you no more reason to hide and it will actually help you be more visible.

What do you do that makes you stand out? What do you wish you could do to stand out? If you have any tips or stories, or any thoughts on the matter at all, all you have to do is click on the link below and add to our comments section.

Goals to Make for Yourself at the Next Singles Party

Jul 22, 2009 No Comments »

How long have you been single? If the answer was “Too long,” then it’s time to do something about it. But what can you do differently? That’s the question most people ask. Those who don’t ask it tend to know what they should do different, but put it off figuring they’ll try harder later.

It should go without saying that that’s not a good thing. Single men and women often fall into that trap when it comes to getting out and meeting people. Some take the initiative to get out to things like singles’ events but don’t actively try to meet people while they’re there.

The advice of this article is to start off by being like the singles in the latter example by going out to singles events, or anywhere else that singles will be. The rest of the advice is to take things further than those in that example who just lay dormant, hoping things will work themselves out. So, next time you’ve got yourself out there make these your goals:

Talk to people – Any people. Talk to any people. If you find it hard talking to the men or women you’re attracted to then start up conversations with the ones you aren’t. There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s called being social. It also gets you used to the idea of starting up conversations with people you haven’t met yet, and that’s the kind of thing you should be getting used to. Otherwise your only dating option is to sit around hoping someone comes to you.

Have conversation objectives – Ever play those ice breaker games where you have to go around and ask questions to find out things like what celebrity is writing on your back? Those kinds of games make talking to people a lot easier because there’s a mission and you therefore conversation never feels forced or artificial. Take that idea and use it in regular conversation. Pick an objective and then start talking. This could be anything from getting a decent opinion on what drink you should order to getting them to help you remember which Die Hard had Samuel L Jackson in it?

Have objectives for the whole night – See? Objectives are always handy. They can not only help guide you through a conversation at a singles party but they can help motivate you as well. As for evening objectives you should keep it simple. Make it your goal to start five conversations with five people you never met.

Join a group – Whether you’re shy or not, it can be hard to wander a singles party solo. The next time you’re at a function like that try joining a group of any kind, even if it’s a group of the same sex. If there’s a free seat, ask to sit down. If they are crowded at the bar, muscle your way in and ask what everyone’s talking about.

These things aren’t meant to directly take you from single to relationship in sixty seconds, nor are they meant to even get you a date. They are just tips for how to get out of the pattern of leaving singles events without having met a soul. If you have other tips for this, or thoughts about anything else, feel free to add a comment by clicking the link below. And by the way, Samuel L Jackson was in the 3rd Die Hard.

Do Woman Have Singles Life Easier Than Men?

Jul 22, 2009 21 Comments »

This is the popular wisdom anyway. Sure, women will usually say it’s not true but men tend not to believe them. Men often like to think that women have things a lot easier, at least in terms of dating, because traditionally they are the ones who get asked out and not the other way around. In other words, women have it easier because they have veto power.

The flip side of that argument is that women have to wait to be asked. While men can talk themselves into worry about rejection and therefore staying away from the women they want, women have to deal with the fact that the man they want may be too scared to approach her. One could argue that the single guy having to be the overtly proactive qualifies as harder.

Single women are taking more initiative these days though and asking men out quite a lot of the time. That in itself should even things out, but there have been arguments made in other online blogs to suggest that this actually tilts the easy scale in the man’s favour. Why? Because when a woman asks out a guy there’s not only fear of rejection, but there’s the awkwardness of not knowing whether or not the guy will be open to such a modern approach. Apparently some men are offended by the idea. Go figure!

To get rid of the fear of approach factor all together let’s take a look at the online dating scene. There, millions of singles from across the US, Canada and the rest of the world gather to find their soul mate. Online the whole fear of rejection seems to leave men’s minds whilst a whole slew of other problems pop up.

Women online have to contend with one of two things it seems. Some get bombarded by emails, most of which are lame and perhaps insulting. Others either wait around patiently or otherwise for a guy to make a move, or they send off a few messages of their own. That doesn’t sound so hard though, does it? Well, when you think of the oft thought of stereotype that the women who sends the first email must have something wrong with her it certainly doesn’t make things easier.

Lastly, there’s the more legitimate fear factor with dating. Single men fear rejection when in the dating world, but that’s about it in most cases. Women, especially when venturing online, have a lot more issues to be wary of. This, of course, refers to the unfortunate reality that many women fall victim to predators when going out with men they don’t know well. That hardly seems easy at all!

All of this suggests that no, women definitely don’t have an easier time on the singles’ scene. That said, it doesn’t suggest that men have it easier either. Now surely you have thought about this before, so by all means send your two cents our way. Look below for a link to the comments section and share your thoughts on the matter!